We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
This service is no longer available.
I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi Eugenia
I was born June 10, 1980 at 11 pm. I recently meet a guy (Birth date: 11/07/1983) and we started dating. I think he is a sweetheart but self-conscious because I make more money than he does and I am self-conscious because he is younger then me (Birth date: 06/10/1980). We get along great but the problem is that I have secretly started seeing an old flame (Birth date: 11/21/1980). My old flame is someone I have had a crush on for years even after we broke up. The problem is that my old flame has a girlfriend as well whom he is having problems with. I am confused now on what to do. I like the new guy but I think I am curious to see if there is still something with my old flame. I am confused on whether I should stay with the new guy or dump him for my old flame and see if there is more to it then just friends. Please help.
Confused
Hi Confused
This is a bit of a no win situation. Both comparisons are very different however they both show signs of sorrow as well. You have a tremendous number of planetary connections between your chart and that of your younger Scorpio friend but I believe that being the Gemini that you are you will not be able to leave well enough alone causing an insatiable urge to find out if you still have something going on with your ex Scorpio. This in turn will cause sorrow with your young Scorpio - he will not take lightly to you engaging in any relationship be it platonic or not with your ex. Please don't lose sight of what was wrong with your relationship with your ex Scorpio the first time around and why you aren't still together. The same problems will crop up time and time again. Your young Scorpio has his natal Venus in the sign Virgo so age shouldn't be a problem considering he probably acts quite mature when it comes to love. You have your natal Venus in Gemini and that often causes you to be fickle and flirtatious when it comes to romance. Your ex has his natal Venus in the sign Libra and although he can be very charming etc. he can also be as fickle and flirtatious as you. All this being said I do believe that you should probably set your young Scorpio free before you really hurt him. Give yourself time to rediscover your old partner and prepare to move on to new potential partners around the end of the summer or early fall of this year. You match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius and Aquarius.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
Dear Eugenia,
Sometime during the first half of February 1995 I met this man. His birth date is 4.4.1967. He was my supervisor; I was a phone sales associate. When I first saw him I disliked the way he looked and assumed I wouldn't care whatever his personality was, either. It turned out that he was a wonderful mentor, a really good boss and just naturally inclined at helping people out. I did very well on that job due to his excellent guidance, and I'm sure a lot of the people there, even though they didn't say anything to my face, thought that he was playing favorites. I didn't mind because I wanted to achieve much and get along with everybody at the same time, so my stance was basically a neutral one, which they had loved to call "being professional".
My confusion started when he began acting as if we were really close. In that place where men out number women in selling and dealing with auto parts, I didn't have difficulty eventually becoming one of the guys where handshakes, arm linking hugs, back pats (or slaps) and even shoulder holding were just normal, friendly ways of interacting so it wasn't an issue of unwanted advances or sexual harassment. What bothered me was that we couldn't seem to talk about ourselves except when it had to do with work. He was starting to grow on me, and during those times when he seemed to be making passes at me, I was delighted with it but didn't want to take him up on it, until he leveled with me on what his intentions were. I just couldn't allow it to sweep me off my feet because it didn't feel honest, and one thing I've always wanted more than anything else was to be in an equal relationship. We went on like this until he left the company to pursue other opportunities. Even though nothing officially intimate happened between us, I still felt really sad, as though a lover had left. I was depressed for a while, all the time thinking I was crazy and totally out of my head, that I didn't initiate things. What did it matter if you love a person yet you're both engaging in some sort of power play where it seemed like the affection was with held by omission?
The definite upside on the whole thing was that it prompted me to look for answers instead of letting it eat at me by becoming bitter. A lot of interesting things came up during my self-studies, but somehow I couldn't accept that it would've worked out nicely if only one of us had been up front to the other. Clearly he could've seen that I was focused on my work yet everybody had found me easy to talk to, to relate to, to connect to. It just didn't make any sense, partly because there were a lot of things that I didn't know about him, even though his actions spoke louder than words. It was strange too, that judging from what pathetic little I knew about him, I could feel that he was very familiar to me I couldn't help but think that past lives might be a valid concept. The chemistry and "magic" were all certainly there, but then again, I didn't want to think that his actions were spurred by those factors alone.
I know solidly now at this point that I'd throw caution to the winds and tell him what I feel about him if I was lucky enough to be given another chance at seeing him again. But since I'm not sure about it happening, I'm faced again with the task of finding an answer as to how to make my peace with the whole thing. Through sheer will I tried hard not to let it affect me so much as to disrupt the normal goings on in my life, and I'm proud to say I succeeded in doing so. I've talked to some people about it, but somehow I get the feeling that they don't really understand, and I don't blame them.
Astrology was one subject that really helped me make sense of it on my own. However, I've never gotten any insights from astrologers, except from interpretations I read in books. I was born March 24, 1973, at 4:04 PM. I hope my letter will be interesting enough to merit your attention and consideration. T
