We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I used to read your horoscopes daily in the Kansas City newspaper. I wrote you around March to ask for your help regarding my situation with my husband (born November 17, 1976). At the time he was leaving me alone all of the time and telling me he no longer wanted to be married. You suggested that I leave him alone and concentrate on myself for a while because love would be more likely in the fall and either he'd return or I would find someone else. Right on cue he has returned asking to go back to how things were before. But now I've changed and I have met someone else (born May 7, 1973). Now I feel like I am being torn apart because I believe marriage is for life and I should be doing everything I can to make it work, but for so long I was trying so hard alone and was unwanted. I feel like there is too much that has taken place between us. The other person came into my life two months ago as a friend and something clicked between us. Now I don't know what to do. I am so hurt that all I want to do is run away from all of this. Please tell me who has the best comparison. In my heart I think I already know, but I really need advice. Thank you.
Perplexed
Dear Perplexed
I can certainly see your dilemma after running an astrological comparison between you and the two men in your life. They both match up about the same. In the case of your Taurus friend I do have to say that there is some sorrow that shows up in the comparison so I believe that if you choose him you will have regrets or that it won't end up being any better with him than it is with your husband. With your husband I believe that you can't just let him come back with the intentions of having things be the same as they were before he left. I believe that you must set some ground rules. That you must talk about why your marriage wasn't working and what you both need from one another in order to make it better. Keeping things the same will only result in a vicious circle. The comparison with your husband is better physically and mentally and although that may not be apparent right now it is only because you have been with him so much longer than you have with your Taurus friend. I believe you owe it to yourself and to your husband to give it another chance. Please communicate this time so that things don't go array.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
Dear Eugenia,
I must say that after reading through many people's questions and all your responses, you are one busy woman. Thanks for taking all that time to help people who need answers. I am a Leo, born August 16, 1978 at 5:55 a.m. Two years ago I enrolled in a college program that I knew was meant for me. My hard work and dedication paid off this summer because I was able to get a job in the industry I want to pursue. I know that I still have one year left to complete the program, but this job means a lot to me. Two partners own the business and I am the only employee. The problem is because one of the partners arrived at the company a couple of months ago and it was evident from the start that we did not get along. I'm sorry I don't know when her birthday is, but I can tell you that she is impatient, demeaning and at times can act hurtful. I know that the experience I'm getting here will help me when I graduate, but some days it's really hard to go to work and spend an entire day dealing with her attitude and her mood swings. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and don't really want to confront her because I couldn't imagine her reaction. Can you give me any advice? What's more important: getting the experience or my self-esteem for a few more months? Thank you for looking my letter over.
The Lion
Dear Lion
You?ve got a promising chart and someday you will probably run your own business. For now, bite the bullet and put up with your boss?s bad attitude. Be thankful that you only have to work there for a short while and look at it as the experience you need to get you where you want to go. A clean slate and a good reference will be worth its weight in gold. I think that most people when starting in the work force meet one or two individuals who are impossible to work for. You have to feel sorry for these individuals who are so moody and hard to please. It?s obvious that they don?t lead very happy lives. As for you, your chart indicates that you may be over-reacting just a little and that you can be too sensitive with those you work with and for. You are born to lead and therefore it makes it difficult for you to take orders. Work hard now and you will be the boss later. You have what it takes to do well and you can make an excellent employer in the future. It?s too bad that you didn?t have her birth date, I may have been able to give you a couple of hints as to how you could handle her better and what she might be going through to cause such horrible mood swings.
Eugenia
