We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi,?
I'm not sure where to start.? I was born January 29, 1967 at 3:20 am and my ex husband (Dec 10, 1967, sorry do not know the time) and I have been divorced for 5 years.? For the past year we have been battling back and forth over child support, which a court has ruled, but my ex won't follow it.? The court has made an order for him to pay a set amount, but he only has paid 1/2 that said amount.? He constantly tries to manipulate me into doing what he wants by using fear. And he's good at it.? I've given in to him many times because of the fear.? I see that now, and am trying to change that and not let him push me around anymore. I have a great lawyer who was at the right place at the right time so I've retained her; she also represented me in my divorce.? Anyway, I am now starting to not give in to his scare tactics and standing firm in what I feel is right and going forward with court.? But, my ex just won't give up. Every time he sees me, or calls me, he's got to get in a sharp word to upset me. It's almost as if he's trying everything in the book to get me to back down and let the child support arrears go before our next court hearing in July.? I am getting emotionally worn out but I find the more I keep moving forward, the stronger I get.? Will he EVER leave me alone and let me move on with my life?? He's getting married in July, so I don't understand why the constant harassment.? I do have a great support system in my boss, friends, and my lawyer (who are all Taurus's) and they keep me focused.? I'm just wondering if my ex will ever leave me alone and accept that the law is the law or will we be fighting over "money" for ever?? My other question is I have a friend, (May 16, 1949...sorry, no time of birth) who is very interested in me, and I in him.? We both are taking this "friendship/relationship" slow but want it to develop into a committed relationship.? Will it?? He's wonderful to me, very caring, and giving and loving.? He's very supportive and even protective when it comes to my ex. He does have his "quirks", but we all do and I find that communication works really well when something isn't "right".?? I just wanted to know if this would be a good relationship or a waste of time. I wonder when it will be my turn to be in a loving relationship, and hope this one will develop and work out.? There haven't been many "admirers" knocking on my door since my divorce and it's getting depressing.? Thank you for reading my letter and I hope you have time to respond to it.
Kali
Hi Kali
You can?t back down and you will win. Even though your ex will always try to get away with not paying you must stand firm. If he is abusive and using fear tactics you will have to have your lawyer intervene with a court order forbidding him to talk to you directly. That way the law will deal with him not you. You did not have a good comparison with him but it was a karmic connection that you had to endure. The worst is over and I believe that you can and will get on with your life. You will be coming into a much higher cycle regarding love beginning in the fall of 2005 but that doesn?t mean that the man you are currently seeing won?t be the one. He does match up to you well however as you said he does have his quirks. The comparison did show some signs of him being over protective at times and this can be a problem if you don?t control it from day one. Other than that you have a terrific comparison. My only concern is that you are settling for someone because you are insecure and afraid you won?t get another chance to find love. Please move slowly, in the fall of 2005 you will know whether he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with or someone else will steel your heart at that time. You match up well to those born under the signs Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
I am a Virgo born on Sept.16, 1970. I been married to a cancer born on July 9,1970. We've been married 3 1/2 years. We were dating for 8 years. Our marriage was going great. But then, I had an affair with a co-worker. I told my husband the truth. He said that he would forgive me and would not leave me. The co-worker is a Virgo like me born on September 14, 1955. He was very good to me. I was feeling lonely and he was also. My husband is military. So, sometimes he is gone. The problem is that my husband says he wants us to work things out, but in the process he gets upset for remembering my affair and starts insulting me a lot. He has never hit me, but once he did because he wanted to know who the guy was. I told him not to hit me and he didn't. He doesn't hurt me physically, but emotionally he does. So, now I am confused. The other guy is married, but his wife filed for divorce. He wants me to also get a divorce and go with him. I just don't know what to do. I am confused! What do you think I should do?
Confused
Dear Confused
I'm not surprised that you are confused. My dear girl, what were you thinking. You have such a good comparison with your husband except for the fact that deception and sorrow due to secret affairs could very well ruin this connection. Your husband is a proud man and it will be difficult for him to forgive you completely. The fact that he has his natal Mercury in the sign Cancer indicates that he will never be able to forget what you have done to him and to your marriage. As for your lover, well you didn't really match up very well. Emotional deception and disillusionment are evident. You have to make some quick decisions in order to get your life back on course. If you think you can salvage your marriage by all means do so, get counseling or whatever it takes. If you decide that it's too late and you must move on do so but not by moving from one hot bed to another. You need to give yourself time to discover who you are and what you really want. I do not believe that you really want your secret lover. I feel that you were attracted to him due to a void you were feeling. Your husband might not have been spending enough time with you or perhaps neither one of you worked hard enough to make your marriage work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes plenty of patience, understanding and hard work on the part of both parties. Divorce does look like the direction you are heading. Whether you stay or leave you will be experiencing emotional difficulties due to the poor choices that you have made in the past.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
First of all I would like to say thank you. Astro Advice has gotten me through some real bad times. Your insight into the problems in life based on sound scientific principles has helped me weather some real stormy situations, recently. Yet I still have some unanswered questions concerning my relationship. My wife was born on April 1954; I am not sure what time. I was born on March 8 1949, at 3:43 a.m. I know that we have some real problems understanding each other's philosophies some times, and that some times I don't understand how to be sensitive to her emotionally and vice versa. Why is this? She is a Taurus and I am a Pisces, shouldn't we get along a lot better. By the way we have been married 21 years, so all is not lost. What I want to know is, I mean can you tell me where our weak points are and can these problems be fixed or because she has her Saturn in Gemini and I have my Saturn in Virgo we can never get closer, doomed to live out our lives in this intolerable state of affairs. Please help me find an answer in astrological terms, because I am sort of disillusioned by the information that I find in the "ROMANCE COMPATABILITY" section of "ASTRO ADVICE". Almost everyday it tells me that I should seriously consider the why I am in this relationship. The "LOVE THERMOMETER" states that I love my wife 83% and she only loves me 72% please clarify. Thanks for your time and consideration.
Kindest Regards,
Concerned Husband
Dear Concerned Husband
Wish you thought to give me your wife's complete birth data. It's kind of hard to give you a well-rounded answer with only half the equation. Based on your chart however I can tell you this. You have been going through personal changes regarding love, partnerships, your home environment and your position in society. Now you might say, not really and that's where your wife's data would have helped me to clarify what is at the route of the problem. Often I find that when these types of transits are going through someone chart they don't always see things clearly. In other words, your wife may not be content and she may feel as if she is talking to a brick wall. Fact of the matter is that she may be the one who should be reevaluating the relationship if you haven't been giving her what she needs emotionally. In your case however, I doubt that is the case. I feel that the percentages that the love thermometer indicates the problem is probably more an issue that relates more to remembering the reason you and your wife fell in love with one another in the first place and trying to rekindle the flame that once burnt so passionately.
Eugenia
