
We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I have written numerous times and am anxious to get an answer please as my life is turning around very quickly. In January of 2003 I left my husband of 22 years and we are now legally separated. I was born on July 6th, 1959 at 1 am and my ex was born on April 27, 1960. I have been seeing a married man, since September of 2002. He was born on June 13, 1962. He was verbally and physically abused as a child. His first wife cheated. His second wife was on the rebound and is verbally abusive to him to the point of him being depressed. There are many walls around this wonderful man, some of which have come down somewhat. He is hard to read sometimes but has become more open with me because of the trust we have built. I know there is stress in this relationship because I don't see him often and it is hard to tell sometimes where I stand. I know you are going to tell me to get out of this relationship because of the circumstances but I love him dearly and can't see life right now without him. Where does my life stand with him.
Cancer
Dear Cancer
I?m not about to tell you to get out of your relationship with your Gemini friend however I never believe that it?s a good idea to get into a relationship with someone until you are both free and clear of your past partners. You may be legally separated from your ex but with the high comparison you have with one another and the sort of love/hate connection that is so apparent I find it hard to believe that it is totally over. Your relationship with your Gemini friend is a little calmer and I certainly can see the attraction but he is hasn?t made a move to leave his current wife even though you say that she is abusive. You did not mention when she was born so I can?t comment on whether they actually get along or not. I believe that if he is to leave her it will probably be next fall when transiting Saturn conjuncts his natal Venus. That will be when he goes through his make it or break it period so he will either leave you or her but he probably won?t keep you both under wraps when that period hits. I don?t know that I would wait around if I were you but feel that you probably will.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
Dear Eugenia
I am really confused. I dislike my dad's partner - Unfortunately intensely. This started shortly after he met her 2 years after he and Mum separated, now 8 years ago, when I was 10. Until recently she treated me considerately, but I continued to dislike her. Now she has openly shown an aggressive dislike of me. I am now older and have decided to write down my dislikes of her. Today she refused to cooperate with this saying do what you like I am not interested. I live with her, my dad and their son, Giles, my brother. Dad is miserable and I don't want to split them up (as threatened by her) but I can't change the way I feel fundamentally. Any suggestions? I was born June 2, 1988 at 3:30 PM.
Gemini Son
Dear Eugenia
Do you give advice to men in distress? I should wait for your reply, but I am in need of immediate advice. I am 55, born February 23, 1951 at 9:30 AM and I have an 18 old son, a 35 year old partner and our son of 6. Eldest son and partner don't get on. After years of aggression by him, eldest son attempted to ameliorate situation by beginning to be civil to her, but too late it seems. Now his attempts, clumsy though they may be are rebuffed by her. I think she is being unreasonable, but I appreciate she is very hurt. I am piggy in the middle, as usual. Not the first time (third marriage/relationship). Help!!!
Distressed Father
Dear Gemini Son and Distressed Father
I tired to email both of you to find out when your stepmother/partner was born considering she is the main issue but your emails bounced back to me therefore I am combining your emails and looking at your charts to see if I can help.
As a father you should have nipped that nastiness that your son continually shoved in your partners face a long time ago. He may not have liked her but that didn't mean that he had to abuse her and at the same time hurt you. Your son is vocal and can be unpredictable and act in haste saying things that are hurtful. He is intelligent, charming and knows how to manipulate situations which is precisely what he has done, and you have let him. As a Pisces father and partner you have been too soft trying to preserve peace with both your wife and your son. This has probably made you appear weak in the eyes of your partner causing her to lose respect and at this point probably not really caring all that much if both you and your son leave. Without her chart it is impossible for me to tell you exactly where she is at or how strong your astrological comparison is however you can check that out yourself if you go to my www.astroadvice.com web site and run a compatibility test. If you measure up to 70% or higher you probably have a chance to turn things around.
I fear however that with the onslaught of transiting Saturn moving in to oppose your Pisces planets you are about to face some limitations that could easily lead to another failed marriage. If your partner is a Sagittarius or Capricorn I imagine she has had enough and is heading out the door. You may want to consider doing some very fast-talking and decision making if you want to give a last attempt at rectifying this problem.
With the cooperation of your Gemini son who has not been a stellar addition to the family you may pull this off. He may be trying to make amends but short of him moving out it may not be enough. Being 18 now he should be close to pursuing higher education so possibly he can go away for his next level of schooling. It is obvious that he is smart and that he should be continuing his education so please consider this as it is probably the best option if you want to make you marriage work. If your son doesn't want to move out or go away to school remind him that he owes you and your partner for putting up with all the crap he has dished out the past ten years. After all who the heck was running the show at home