We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
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The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi Eugenia
My husband has a drinking problem. He has been able to control this problem for the past 5-6 years. Recently he has begun drinking again and there is starting to be the same kind of mental abuse as he displayed in the past. I am at the age where I do not feel I can repeat and repeat this sort of abuse and lifestyle. Money is also becoming an issue as he continues to drink. He continues to threaten to leave and I am at the point where if not for my financial position, I would put the entire relationship behind me and move on alone. Is this a good idea?.......Please help, he is born July 10, 1951 at 6:30 a.m. and I April 25, 1944, at 10 a.m.
Stay or Leave
Dear Stay or Leave
I believe that your husband will become worse before he becomes better. The next year and a half will be filled with all sorts of limitations for him regarding health, authority figures, dealing with institutions and so forth. I feel that the past couple of years you have taken the brunt of his obvious lack of control and abuse and now is the time to give him an ultimatum. Should he leave he will go down hill over the course of the next couple of years. Should he seek help it will take him the next couple of years to reform. As for you I feel that the time for change is fast approaching. That you should be seeking help from women's groups and co-dependent organizations in order to get back on your feet and away from him. Your comparison did indicate that there has been love in the past with this man but that was probably a long time ago. There is also sorrow especially where substance abuse is concerned and because of this I feel that even if he does seek help that there will always be the potential for him to slip over and over again. I do not believe that you will ever be able to fully put his abuse behind you and that your reason for staying with this man has more to do with fear of being alone and lack of funds. Your chart indicates that you are youthful and entertaining and that you will be okay if you can only get yourself out of this situation. By all means - if he wants to leave let him go.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
Many years ago I consulted an astrologer about my chances of marrying happily, and he replied, "Do you really want to know?" He seemed so evasive and reluctant that I didn't push it. A year or two later I met my husband (9/17/53) and we have been together for nearly fifteen years. I have since learned a little about astrology and decided that the reason the astrologer was so reticent is that I have Neptune in Scorpio in the seventh house. I think this has manifested mostly in my husband's struggles with alcohol; about three years ago he finally made a major effort and got his drinking under control. Unfortunately at the same time-- I wonder if it was the catalyst-- I reconnected with an old friend (11/11/61) who is in the same line of creative work I am. Although this relationship upset my husband I did not give it up. I realize that this person is a friend and not a suitable candidate for husband/father (we have three children) but I cannot convince my husband that is the case, even though I have been faithful to him and the other relationship is somewhat tenuous. Is it that my husband is being super controlling or am I not being honest? If I give up my friend will my husband go back to drinking? The astrology books are not very reassuring on the Neptune in the seventh house thing, so I wonder if I am stuck with relationship weirdness no matter what, or if I would just be better off being a nun. My birthday is 4/4/65, at 6 AM.
Thank you--
"Doomed by Neptune"
Dear "Doomed by Neptune"
First of all your Neptune may be in your seventh house but it is well aspected to your natal Saturn and Pluto and yes it does oppose your Moon and Jupiter as well but don't lose sight of the fact that the Moon is well aspsected to both Saturn and Pluto as well. This should give you an overall positive skew on your relationship capability. Now you are right regarding partners being of an escapist nature but that doesn't mean that you can't have a successful relationship and that your current partner can't pull his act together. This set up can be highly creative sexually if that's where the energy is put and obviously you and your husband did just that, the result being your three children. With your Neptune Jupiter opposition and of course Jupiter being in your first house you can tend to overreact a bit and may not be totally honest with yourself or your partner at an emotional level. I feel that your past acquaintance is really not the issue as you do not match up to him well. As a matter of fact it is more like a sister brother connection and a strained one at that. Your Scorpio friend falls in an area of your chart that deals with dead end projects. As for your husband your comparison was okay but sorrow does prevail especially with regard to his drinking problem. With his natal Neptune in an adverse position to his natal Uranus I believe that he could fall off the wagon from time to time. However, it probably won't be the result of your friendship with your Scorpio friend. Your Scorpio however should only be someone that you deal with as a direct result of work and nothing more. If you want your marriage to work you and your husband will have to work together in order to keep his problem under control. If he can't handle it and continually gets inebriated you will have to make a decision based on what's best for you and your children. Your husband falls in an area of your chart that deals with children and partying and that is probably how things started out some 15 years ago however times have changed and he's going to have to pull up his socks or expect to lose his family.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I have written to you a few times before with no answer. I realize you are VERY busy, but please, I desperately need help! My B.T. is 4/9/69 9:31 pm.
Life has been pretty awful since 2000. I've been in love with a married man ever since then -though I've stayed away- but the feelings barely fade between us. He is a fellow Aires 4/19/66 -sorry I have no birth time for him. My mother-9/16/45 had a heart attack in 2000, a source of much grief for me though she is fine now. I lost my job unfairly and was harassed relentlessly at said job in 2000. I was sexually harassed in 2001 at a new job and subsequently left. Then 9/11 happened which was truly the worst. I started another relationship in late 2001 -with a Virgo man- that came to nothing. I've lost quite a few friends in the last year or so, some that I really needed to be rid of but still I wonder why other people have smooth easy friendships that flow well and last forever. I've been unemployed now for over a year and I don't see things getting better. I just turned 34 and I see no upward trend for the future. I can't seem to find my calling in life in any area. The things I want most constantly elude me (Close relationships with family, a partner to walk through life with, beautiful children, a career I love, close friendships, the lifestyle I dream of). What am I doing wrong? Clearly I have lost my way in the universe somehow and I really need some answers. I want to find my soul mate, have kids, do well in business, and have a full, loving, hectic life. Please help me and see what guidance the stars have for me. Thanks so much for your help and your time.
LISA
Hi Lisa
Maybe you should be getting together with the Pisces in my first readers email this week. He is going through similar problems. In your case you have had some rough transits moving through an area that deals with work and friendships and although this is coming to an end it isn't quite over yet. Your predicament regarding your job will change but I must admit it is much better beginning in the fall so if you are interested in picking up added skills in order to take on a new direction or up your earning potential in the area you are already in now is the time to do so. You have been going through a period of change regarding your friends and although it isn't quite over yet it is not uncommon to rid yourself of the dead weight in your life when this type of transit is present. It isn't a bad thing but it does take a lot out of you. Letting go of the past is usually hard even if you are an Aries. You should be getting out and meeting people. Expanding your circle of friends. Trying your hand at the things you enjoy doing and getting involved in something physical that will help you get back on track and use up added energy. With transiting Saturn passing through your eighth house over the next couple of years you are probably not out of the woods with regard to the well being of older family members or the responsibilities that these matters entail. Prepare to give more time to your mother; she will need you by her side.
Being in love with someone who is married usually puts your life in a tailspin for some time however given the fact that he is a fellow Aries and he falls in an area of your chart that deals with social activity and having fun I can see why you were attracted to him but you really must move on. The actual comparison to him wasn't that good and it did indicate emotional mental and physical torment. Signs that are good for you include late Taurus/early Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius and Pisces. You are in a high cycle regarding love, romance and having fun over the next little while so get out and meet potential new mates. To go back or even consider your married friend will be detrimental.
Eugenia
