We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi Eugenia
My husband has a drinking problem. He has been able to control this problem for the past 5-6 years. Recently he has begun drinking again and there is starting to be the same kind of mental abuse as he displayed in the past. I am at the age where I do not feel I can repeat and repeat this sort of abuse and lifestyle. Money is also becoming an issue as he continues to drink. He continues to threaten to leave and I am at the point where if not for my financial position, I would put the entire relationship behind me and move on alone. Is this a good idea?.......Please help, he is born July 10, 1951 at 6:30 a.m. and I April 25, 1944, at 10 a.m.
Stay or Leave
Dear Stay or Leave
I believe that your husband will become worse before he becomes better. The next year and a half will be filled with all sorts of limitations for him regarding health, authority figures, dealing with institutions and so forth. I feel that the past couple of years you have taken the brunt of his obvious lack of control and abuse and now is the time to give him an ultimatum. Should he leave he will go down hill over the course of the next couple of years. Should he seek help it will take him the next couple of years to reform. As for you I feel that the time for change is fast approaching. That you should be seeking help from women's groups and co-dependent organizations in order to get back on your feet and away from him. Your comparison did indicate that there has been love in the past with this man but that was probably a long time ago. There is also sorrow especially where substance abuse is concerned and because of this I feel that even if he does seek help that there will always be the potential for him to slip over and over again. I do not believe that you will ever be able to fully put his abuse behind you and that your reason for staying with this man has more to do with fear of being alone and lack of funds. Your chart indicates that you are youthful and entertaining and that you will be okay if you can only get yourself out of this situation. By all means - if he wants to leave let him go.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am at a standstill in my life. For 2 1/2 years I dated a man born 10/3/60 10:30AM. He and I grew up in the same community and town. We had not seen each other in 15 years and were "fixed up" by mutual friends. The relationship had gone through many ups and downs, at times splitting for weeks and months at a time. I recently completed my M Ed. and needed to stay focused on my goals. He has been a toll collector for 18 years and has a 16-year-old son from a previous relationship that left him raising a son alone and with really crappy hours, the kid is both spoiled and neglected. I have tried nearly everything possible to stay with him, but once I was able to commit to the relationship, his inability to make decisions and be more conscientious of money and time began to widdle away at our relationship. I loved and still love him. In the last year we have lost a child, he has cheated on me twice, and basically lost sight of what was once a strong and vibrant respect for one another. I caught him both times and his wealthy family thinks that he is weak, and that I am too good for him and a tad bit too controlling. We dreamed of many things together. I helped him find and fix up his dream home. Prior to his cheating we were planning a family and life together. I know that I have difficulty letting go in a relationship and wonder if I will ever find someone with whom to spend my life. I thought he was my soul mate. I thought the balance of his laid back approach to life and my ability to solve problems and make things happen would culminate into marriage. We are both seeing other people 3 months after the split and recently were drawn together by finances and we ended up making love. I am confused and tormented by what could have but can never be. We often said that if he didn't have his son we would already have been married. He is the kind of man that can't be left alone, and I refused to live with him until he got a grip of his son's law breaking/disrespectful behavior (I have a 9 year old) before living together and being a family. We have had quite a dramatic relationship. The disrespect was making me miserable. Do you think he could my soul mate? Am I foolish to believe he could ever evolve into a stronger man and be happy with a good woman like me? I can't believe I still want him after everything we have been through. My head says run, but my heart says "maybe someday" My DOB is 9/11/61 at 11:59 PM. Will I ever find a soul mate, and does he exist? I am dating, but unable to find anyone who makes me feel hope.
An empty - Gypsyheart
Dear Gypsyheart
I think you should focus your time and energy on your son, your own home, travel, self-improvement and socializing. You have latched on to a man who has no backbone and although he probably is an attractive package due to his family prominence you are best not to waste any more time on the prospect of spending the rest of your life with him. Your comparison indicates that this man will bring you sorrow. The past three years this mans chart has experienced all sorts of uncertainties and weaknesses that have resulted in his sons need to do whatever it takes to get some attention. This man is not likely to get his act together in the near future therefore you should get on with your life and forget about what might have been. Your comparison with him was not that great and I know that you can do much better. You do not need a weak man but instead one strong enough to balance your need to control. Although the sign Scorpio is definitely a sign that draws you, this particular Scorpio is not the one. You also match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Taurus and Gemini. You should always run a comparison through our compatibility service before you let someone new capture your heart. Your chart indicates that if you get out and do things that you enjoy over the course of th
Dear Eugenia
I have separated from my husband after 14 years of marriage and I have been seeing another man for 15 months now. My ex was very jealous and controlling and his selfishness killed all the love I had for him. He was born on November 5 1955.
My present lover was a longtime acquaintance and we got together as my marriage was ending. He was born on September 26 1966.
I have always had a strong attraction to this man from the first time I saw him and my ex could see it somehow and it caused a lot of frictions in our marriage. Nothing ever happened between the other man and me until I became desperately unhappy and sought him in the last months of my marriage. He brought back laughter and joy into my life and I feel happy in his company. He is divorced and has a teenage daughter. We have a very discreet relationship for many reasons but now I wish we could take it to another level.
Could you please tell me if this relationship will lead to a commitment or if there is another man for me in my future? I am very careful whom I mingle with because I have two children that I want to keep safe. My present boyfriend has known them from birth and has been good and caring towards them.
Hoping to hear from you soon.
Thank you.
Marie
Dear Marie
Firstly, kudos to you for having the strength and courage to move on and getting away from a controlling and unloving marriage and for thinking of your children first.
The comparison with your ex showed signs of both mental and physical abuse that you and your children shouldn't be subjected to. His possessive obsession at an emotional level is something he was born with and shows clearly in his chart. In short he needs professional help to overcome this problem however he is the personality type that probably would never agree to that sort of therapy.
Your current relationship is not the best or most suitable match up for you long-term and is probably much better kept as a family friend. Unfortunately according to your astrological comparison with him there is evidence that he has the potential to be emotionally deceptive with you. I do believe that you have some karma with this man however and that it is likely he has served his purpose. Your chart indicates that you are in a high cycle regarding love this year and that it is important for you to get out and meet new people, however if you are tied up too tightly with your Libra man you aren't likely to experiment with potential partners. You match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Leo, Virgo, Libra and Aquarius. Should you want to give this relationship more time your next favorable cycle for love and romance will begin late next year and continue through the first three quarters of 2009.
Eugenia
