
We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi Eugenia
My husband has a drinking problem. He has been able to control this problem for the past 5-6 years. Recently he has begun drinking again and there is starting to be the same kind of mental abuse as he displayed in the past. I am at the age where I do not feel I can repeat and repeat this sort of abuse and lifestyle. Money is also becoming an issue as he continues to drink. He continues to threaten to leave and I am at the point where if not for my financial position, I would put the entire relationship behind me and move on alone. Is this a good idea?.......Please help, he is born July 10, 1951 at 6:30 a.m. and I April 25, 1944, at 10 a.m.
Stay or Leave
Dear Stay or Leave
I believe that your husband will become worse before he becomes better. The next year and a half will be filled with all sorts of limitations for him regarding health, authority figures, dealing with institutions and so forth. I feel that the past couple of years you have taken the brunt of his obvious lack of control and abuse and now is the time to give him an ultimatum. Should he leave he will go down hill over the course of the next couple of years. Should he seek help it will take him the next couple of years to reform. As for you I feel that the time for change is fast approaching. That you should be seeking help from women's groups and co-dependent organizations in order to get back on your feet and away from him. Your comparison did indicate that there has been love in the past with this man but that was probably a long time ago. There is also sorrow especially where substance abuse is concerned and because of this I feel that even if he does seek help that there will always be the potential for him to slip over and over again. I do not believe that you will ever be able to fully put his abuse behind you and that your reason for staying with this man has more to do with fear of being alone and lack of funds. Your chart indicates that you are youthful and entertaining and that you will be okay if you can only get yourself out of this situation. By all means - if he wants to leave let him go.
Eugenia
Hello again Eugenia,
I wrote you last year in May, telling you about the problems with my husband (born January 31 1959, 2.50am) and my situation with the immigration status in US. I tried to follow your advice and go with him to marriage counseling, but the things were not very good. He didn't want to go first, and when he went, he said that the counseling it doesn't work for him because nobody will come to tell him that he is wrong, when he knows that he is right.
In December, last year, I found 4 email accounts full of emails back and forth with a lot of women. Many of them were very in love with him. He promised them marriage and a good situation in US. A women from Mexico called at the house and she was very upset when she found out that he is married. Nobody from his women in Internet knew that he is married. He recognized everything he did, but in the same time he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Its like: "I don't want you because you know too many things about me now."
Eugenia, I tried everything with this man, I tried to play by the rules in this marriage, but he deceived me so many times that I don't trust him anymore. He lied to me from the beginning, he controls me in every way you can think about it, and he abuses me mentally very hard. My main problem is the immigration situation in this moment; he keeps me stuck in the house, like a slave. From more than 6 months, I am trying to apply for getting a legal status in the country, together with my daughter, with a law who defends women and children who live in abusive relationships with their husbands, but because I don't have money to pay a lawyer (my husband controls all the finances), I was not able to find somebody to help me apply, even if I went to all the places where you can receive free legal services. I wanted to leave him many times in the last year, since I wrote you, but I don't have where to go and what to do. I cannot work and make a living together with my daughter without him. The situation is very difficult and I am really desperate.
My first question is if you see something about this situation in my chart, and when do you think that I will be able to resolve something?
Trying to find more things about my husband activity in Internet, going in chats and other sites where I found out he was all the time, I met a man, 2 months ago. He is psychologist and professor to a university, not very close to my city. Since February, we chat and emailed each other each day. We talked on the phone few times. We have good time together. We laugh a lot, and he is very considerate and nice...He was born October 15, 1957, at 12.26pm.He understood my situation, and we decided to take it slow because of my situation. He wants to meet me soon.
Sometimes I feel bad thinking that now I am doing the same thing my husband did with his secret life in Internet, but in the same time, I feel that I need somebody in my life to get through all this mess that I have to live, and mentally and emotionally I don't feel connected with my husband anymore. I don't think that he deserves my love and my respect after all the garbage he put on our life together.
Do I have any future with this new man in my life? I had so many bad experiences with my 2 divorces, now the 3rd husband is a real jerk, my horrible situation with the legal status and everything, and I am really afraid to suffer again. I don't want you to believe that I am jumping in a new relationship when I am still in such a mess.... but this guy seems to bring a lot of light in my miserable life....
Thank you a lot for all your help,
gabituca
Hi grabituca
You are taking the wrong approach by doing the same thing you are accusing your husband of doing. Think about your daughter not your physical needs right now. The man you have met on the internet does not match up to you at all in fact I do
Dear Ms. Last
I am almost embarrassed to ask for advice. Since I don't like to tell too much information about myself, I hope I can phrase the question right. I have a hard time in terms of my relationship with men. On one hand I want to love and be loved very deeply. It is a very spiritual connection that I crave. On the other hand, as soon as I am in a relationship, I feel suffocated, like the type of relationship society deems proper does not fit my personality. Is it possible for me to find someone who can give me the emotional intensity that I crave with the physical freedom I feel I need? Or are these two things so opposite that I must choose one way to be? I really need to know if I must make a choice, or if I should keep on looking. I am interested in someone right now mainly due to his personal integrity. I don't think he knows that he has caught my attention just yet and I am reluctant to pursue anything right now due to my conflicting needs in a relationship. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. I was born 10/26/68 at 11:22 pm and he was born 05/06/61 at 4:15 am.
Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed
There are lots of people who want to have their cake and eat it too. The main concern is honesty. The comparison with your Taurus friend was quite favorable and it didn't really show any major sign of sorrow therefore I see no reason not to pursue him unless of course you are also working with him professionally. I suggest that should you decide to move forward that you are right up front about your desires and needs so that you give him the choice to bow out if he can't handle the freedom you require. I don't believe that you can turn off a switch and become totally monogamous if that isn't the way you are. Therefore you are best to search openly and honestly for someone who shares your values and sexual needs. Don't be embarrassed; lots of people feel the same way you do. You are in a high cycle regarding love however I must stress that you should not mix business with pleasure.
Eugenia