We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi Eugenia
My husband has a drinking problem. He has been able to control this problem for the past 5-6 years. Recently he has begun drinking again and there is starting to be the same kind of mental abuse as he displayed in the past. I am at the age where I do not feel I can repeat and repeat this sort of abuse and lifestyle. Money is also becoming an issue as he continues to drink. He continues to threaten to leave and I am at the point where if not for my financial position, I would put the entire relationship behind me and move on alone. Is this a good idea?.......Please help, he is born July 10, 1951 at 6:30 a.m. and I April 25, 1944, at 10 a.m.
Stay or Leave
Dear Stay or Leave
I believe that your husband will become worse before he becomes better. The next year and a half will be filled with all sorts of limitations for him regarding health, authority figures, dealing with institutions and so forth. I feel that the past couple of years you have taken the brunt of his obvious lack of control and abuse and now is the time to give him an ultimatum. Should he leave he will go down hill over the course of the next couple of years. Should he seek help it will take him the next couple of years to reform. As for you I feel that the time for change is fast approaching. That you should be seeking help from women's groups and co-dependent organizations in order to get back on your feet and away from him. Your comparison did indicate that there has been love in the past with this man but that was probably a long time ago. There is also sorrow especially where substance abuse is concerned and because of this I feel that even if he does seek help that there will always be the potential for him to slip over and over again. I do not believe that you will ever be able to fully put his abuse behind you and that your reason for staying with this man has more to do with fear of being alone and lack of funds. Your chart indicates that you are youthful and entertaining and that you will be okay if you can only get yourself out of this situation. By all means - if he wants to leave let him go.
Eugenia
Hi,?
I'm not sure where to start.? I was born January 29, 1967 at 3:20 am and my ex husband (Dec 10, 1967, sorry do not know the time) and I have been divorced for 5 years.? For the past year we have been battling back and forth over child support, which a court has ruled, but my ex won't follow it.? The court has made an order for him to pay a set amount, but he only has paid 1/2 that said amount.? He constantly tries to manipulate me into doing what he wants by using fear. And he's good at it.? I've given in to him many times because of the fear.? I see that now, and am trying to change that and not let him push me around anymore. I have a great lawyer who was at the right place at the right time so I've retained her; she also represented me in my divorce.? Anyway, I am now starting to not give in to his scare tactics and standing firm in what I feel is right and going forward with court.? But, my ex just won't give up. Every time he sees me, or calls me, he's got to get in a sharp word to upset me. It's almost as if he's trying everything in the book to get me to back down and let the child support arrears go before our next court hearing in July.? I am getting emotionally worn out but I find the more I keep moving forward, the stronger I get.? Will he EVER leave me alone and let me move on with my life?? He's getting married in July, so I don't understand why the constant harassment.? I do have a great support system in my boss, friends, and my lawyer (who are all Taurus's) and they keep me focused.? I'm just wondering if my ex will ever leave me alone and accept that the law is the law or will we be fighting over "money" for ever?? My other question is I have a friend, (May 16, 1949...sorry, no time of birth) who is very interested in me, and I in him.? We both are taking this "friendship/relationship" slow but want it to develop into a committed relationship.? Will it?? He's wonderful to me, very caring, and giving and loving.? He's very supportive and even protective when it comes to my ex. He does have his "quirks", but we all do and I find that communication works really well when something isn't "right".?? I just wanted to know if this would be a good relationship or a waste of time. I wonder when it will be my turn to be in a loving relationship, and hope this one will develop and work out.? There haven't been many "admirers" knocking on my door since my divorce and it's getting depressing.? Thank you for reading my letter and I hope you have time to respond to it.
Kali
Hi Kali
You can?t back down and you will win. Even though your ex will always try to get away with not paying you must stand firm. If he is abusive and using fear tactics you will have to have your lawyer intervene with a court order forbidding him to talk to you directly. That way the law will deal with him not you. You did not have a good comparison with him but it was a karmic connection that you had to endure. The worst is over and I believe that you can and will get on with your life. You will be coming into a much higher cycle regarding love beginning in the fall of 2005 but that doesn?t mean that the man you are currently seeing won?t be the one. He does match up to you well however as you said he does have his quirks. The comparison did show some signs of him being over protective at times and this can be a problem if you don?t control it from day one. Other than that you have a terrific comparison. My only concern is that you are settling for someone because you are insecure and afraid you won?t get another chance to find love. Please move slowly, in the fall of 2005 you will know whether he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with or someone else will steel your heart at that time. You match up well to those born under the signs Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia Last
In Nov of 2000 my son (born April 16, 1984 at 4:10 p.m.) developed a serious mental disease. This has been particularly hard on my younger son (born June 30, 1986 at 12:07 a.m.) and he has decided not to come home anymore because he is treated so poorly by his brother. At the same time my husband, born August 4,1950, has coped with this by staying a work most of his waking hours. To add to the mess he has an employee that he thinks is just perfect and she has been wiggling and giggling her way into our lives for nine years. I have repeatedly asked him to get her out of our lives but he refuses to do so. Since my son's illness started I have been the stay at home mom, nurse, whatever. As well as dealing with my son I also took care of my dad in his last year. He was very sick for a very long time and he had a mitt-full of health issues that made his passing very slow and painful. I have reached a point where all I feel is pain and I am trying to find some way to change my life. Do you have any suggestions - I was born August 24, 1950 at 6:50 PM.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
Lets address your relationship with your husband first. You neglected to mention the birth date of his wiggly giggly gal at the office leaving me nothing to work with regarding what's actually going on between them. I can tell you however that last year he was in a cycle that is conducive to having an affair and that he was born with the major sign of sorrow in his chart when it comes to relationships. He does not deal with health issues very well so God forbid he ever get ill himself. He has turned a blind eye on his family when you and your boys needed him the most. This is not the sign of a very strong man or partner and you should seriously consider what you are going to do about your marriage should he not agree to go to counseling to fix the problems you are experiencing. Somehow I don't think he will but you have to ask. With transiting Saturn still moving through an area of his chart that deals with his attitude toward his partner I'd say he is closed to any ideas that suggest fixing what's wrong and is probably in denial because it is the easy way out.
You on the other hand have been a glutton for punishment and you have to put an end to it before you become ill. Being a Virgo it is hard to give in to failure and move on but sometimes it's the only means of survival. The area of your chart that deals with partnerships, marriage etc has been and will continue to go through a make it or break it period so if you don't seek help it is likely to go downhill. You are actually however in a high cycle regarding love this year with transiting Jupiter favorably aspecting your natal Venus however it is not likely that you will get the chance to take advantage of this unless you opt to kick your husband out immediately and move on. It can however help you should you be able to convince your husband to seek help and counseling. Both you and your husband are heading into your second Saturn return during the second half of next year. This is a period of reevaluating your life and making choices that will alter your future. If you both haven't already been thinking along these lines already you will be soon. This period of time will be conducive to making the effort to do something about your relationship or move on. You both went through your first Saturn return in 1979 - if you think back to that time and what you were experiencing it will help you to make the right decision now.
Your sons are a completely different story. There is no excuse for your son with mental disorders to abuse his younger brother and you and your husband should never have let this happen. Your younger son is a Cancer and family means a lot to him. Fortunately he is coming into better times right now and I believe if he can manage to move on he will do just fine however he may
