We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hello! Eugenia
First of all I would like to say that it is very good that you use your talant to help others. I like your site very much. I even can say that it has helped me a lot. Unfourtunatelly my problem is connected with love life. As you can see I am born in 21st of July in 1980 (6 AM). It comes out that I am cancer. I really feel like this sensitive person when it comes to love life. I have been dating with three guy during my life. All these love relationships were very idealistic and romantic. I really loved (i guess i still do in some way) these guys. Especially the last one - Arnis (born April 2 in 1978, 12.10 AM), which i can call my dream boy. He really was it until the beginning of this year. He changed. He said he loves me but he doubts. Doubts whether we should be together or not. It hurt me so much - that there are no tenderness or interest left. Now we are divorced for almost 3 months. I was the one who initiated it but i hoped that he will change his mind and will come back to me. He still says he doubts. We are not seeing each other, only communicating via e mail. Even theoriticaly I am free , i feel that he is not letting me go. He does nothing but also somehow keeps me in control. What should I do? If you would ask me- what do you want. I would say that I want to continue this relationship. I would like to fight for our love and future. But I don't want to do it on my own. I want to feel that he also wants it and that he loves me. The pity thing is that all previous relationships also ended in a way like this - O was the one who wanted to continue, but other person did nothing. But i admired them so much. Arnis is so different from me and that's why i adore him. He is so elegent, clever, interesting, also - loving and romantic. i can't imagine better guy. But when he doesn't have interest in me it hurts very, very much. I was thinking maybe something is wrong with the fact that emotionally i am like scorpio - the most deepest and possesive sign. I want to love in more light way! can i do something about it? it seems to me that then i would be more easy going lover, maybe that i would gain more attention from my loved ones because they would see that i am not depending on them so much. Now i feel that i cannot think about anything else than Arnis. I want to have loving and long lasting relationship so very much! but it seems that life leads me in different direction. what should i do? is there possibility that i could be happy with arnis? what should i do or change to get beautiful love life? Hope to hear from you very much!
Anda
Dear Anda
There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, warm and loving you just have to find the right partner, the partner who will appreciate you for who you are. The comparison with your Aries boyfriend wasn't that great and although he may be charming and all, he is also a bit of a player when it comes to women. He would have a hard time dealing with any women who was too possessive or clingy. You have qualities that lots of men would absolutely adore. You are being too hard on yourself. You are just 22 years old and you have your whole life ahead of you. You are going through a cycle that is wonderful for getting involved in worthwhile groups or organizations that you believe in. This is your time to get out and meet all sorts of new people. You should be building friendships and deciding in your own mind what it is that you really want in a partner. I think that if you are completely honest with yourself you will realize that you want someone who will be just as warm, loving and affectionate as you are. There will be plenty of opportunities for new partnerships to develop over the next twelve months so for you to dwell on the past or sit around waiting for your Aries man to change his mind would be a mistake. Human nature is to always want what you think you can't have. Let him go a
Dear Eugenia,
Many years ago I consulted an astrologer about my chances of marrying happily, and he replied, "Do you really want to know?" He seemed so evasive and reluctant that I didn't push it. A year or two later I met my husband (9/17/53) and we have been together for nearly fifteen years. I have since learned a little about astrology and decided that the reason the astrologer was so reticent is that I have Neptune in Scorpio in the seventh house. I think this has manifested mostly in my husband's struggles with alcohol; about three years ago he finally made a major effort and got his drinking under control. Unfortunately at the same time-- I wonder if it was the catalyst-- I reconnected with an old friend (11/11/61) who is in the same line of creative work I am. Although this relationship upset my husband I did not give it up. I realize that this person is a friend and not a suitable candidate for husband/father (we have three children) but I cannot convince my husband that is the case, even though I have been faithful to him and the other relationship is somewhat tenuous. Is it that my husband is being super controlling or am I not being honest? If I give up my friend will my husband go back to drinking? The astrology books are not very reassuring on the Neptune in the seventh house thing, so I wonder if I am stuck with relationship weirdness no matter what, or if I would just be better off being a nun. My birthday is 4/4/65, at 6 AM.
Thank you--
"Doomed by Neptune"
Dear "Doomed by Neptune"
First of all your Neptune may be in your seventh house but it is well aspected to your natal Saturn and Pluto and yes it does oppose your Moon and Jupiter as well but don't lose sight of the fact that the Moon is well aspsected to both Saturn and Pluto as well. This should give you an overall positive skew on your relationship capability. Now you are right regarding partners being of an escapist nature but that doesn't mean that you can't have a successful relationship and that your current partner can't pull his act together. This set up can be highly creative sexually if that's where the energy is put and obviously you and your husband did just that, the result being your three children. With your Neptune Jupiter opposition and of course Jupiter being in your first house you can tend to overreact a bit and may not be totally honest with yourself or your partner at an emotional level. I feel that your past acquaintance is really not the issue as you do not match up to him well. As a matter of fact it is more like a sister brother connection and a strained one at that. Your Scorpio friend falls in an area of your chart that deals with dead end projects. As for your husband your comparison was okay but sorrow does prevail especially with regard to his drinking problem. With his natal Neptune in an adverse position to his natal Uranus I believe that he could fall off the wagon from time to time. However, it probably won't be the result of your friendship with your Scorpio friend. Your Scorpio however should only be someone that you deal with as a direct result of work and nothing more. If you want your marriage to work you and your husband will have to work together in order to keep his problem under control. If he can't handle it and continually gets inebriated you will have to make a decision based on what's best for you and your children. Your husband falls in an area of your chart that deals with children and partying and that is probably how things started out some 15 years ago however times have changed and he's going to have to pull up his socks or expect to lose his family.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
How's this for a love triangle with an international flavor as we were all born in different countries, with two Cancers potentially battling it out? I'm a Cancer born July 9, 1963 at 11:30 am, married for many years to a Gemini man (b. 6/10/1955) who I fear might be seriously interested in another Cancer (someone in our social circle). I understand from mutual friends that he does flirt with this woman when I'm not around and that she is equally interested in him. I learned from one close friend in particular that the only thing stopping her at least is the fact that he is married. I'm hoping that this woman does respect my marriage, but I fear that I may be losing my Gemini man to a possible midlife crisis. It took some doing but I found out that her birthday is 7/5/1959. I hope this is enough information for you to chart us and give me some guidance. Please Eugenia, is my marriage about to come unglued?
Cancer in distress
Dear Cancer in distress
Your comparison with your husband is better than his comparison with the other Cancer in question. However he has been going through emotional confusion the past couple of years and this has probably contributed to his obvious midlife crisis. Generally your husband is a good guy and even though he is a Gemini and they can tend to wander as well as marry more than once in a life time I have to say with his natal Venus in the sign Taurus it does give him some stability. Your chart indicates that you may be overreacting to this whole situation and that could in fact push him away. There is also evidence that by the fall of this year you will be in a high cycle regarding love and winning back the heart of your husband should you actually have lost it to another. Your Cancer friend is not trustworthy when it comes to respecting your marriage. She may be born under the sign Cancer but unlike you she is predominantly a Leo with her natal Mercury, Venus, Mars and Uranus in that sign and her Moon positioned in Gemini therefore the challenge of the chase is probably what she is enjoying. Protect yourself, your heart and your marriage by being fun to be with, paying special attention to your husband and keeping a close watch on who he's with and what he does without being overbearing or smothering.
Eugenia
