We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi Eugenia
I met a very special person (February 4, 1969) 4 years ago after having met her at work. Once we talked, we realized we had a lot in common between us and it was amazing how closely the pattern of each of our lives seemed so much alike from our childhood to the present. We knew from the beginning that we could be very good for each other and therefore, we became very close friends almost instantly as though we had known each other all of our lives. I discovered that I could open up to her, like no other person in my life, and tell some of my most intimate feelings and hidden fears that I had carried inside all of my life as she did with me. Ironically, I have always seemed to have the problem of letting myself get too close to people even though I have many friends, they are not intimate friends. As we became closer throughout the 4 years, I have felt myself becoming very scared of getting too close, being hurt and even left behind, without reason, so I in turn distanced myself from her more and more without an explanation. She became less interested in our friendship and it began to unravel for both of us due to the stress of it all. Since December of last year, we have not spoken at all and it has really been a very devastating experience for me. It has changed me as a person in so many ways. I wish very much that I could rekindle our friendship that I miss dearly, but I don't know what would be the right words to say or if we would be better to put this behind and both move on with our lives apart. I was born December 15, 1958 at 8:30 am. Thank you for guidance.
Sagittarius
Dear Sagittarius
I believe that friendship is the operative word here. The comparison showed nothing more than that. It also revealed that there certainly is some mistrust, disillusionment or possible deception as well. Now that could have to do with the fact that you didn't even give her an explanation when you backed away. I fell that you have two choices and they are to move on and prepare to meet someone else who matches up to you much better physically and mentally or phone her up, be honest about your feelings and ask to resume the friendship. When I say friendship I mean just that. I believe that anything more would lead to trouble. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If she isn't interested at least you'll know and can move on. You tend to match up to those born under the signs Aries, Cancer, Libra and Aquarius (she is not a very strong Aquarius). It is apparent that you do much better with people who are much older or much younger than yourself. You will be in a high cycle regarding love next year so don't waste too much of your time trying to turn what you have with your Aquarian friend into anything more than a friendship at this point.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
Dear Eugenia Last
In Nov of 2000 my son (born April 16, 1984 at 4:10 p.m.) developed a serious mental disease. This has been particularly hard on my younger son (born June 30, 1986 at 12:07 a.m.) and he has decided not to come home anymore because he is treated so poorly by his brother. At the same time my husband, born August 4,1950, has coped with this by staying a work most of his waking hours. To add to the mess he has an employee that he thinks is just perfect and she has been wiggling and giggling her way into our lives for nine years. I have repeatedly asked him to get her out of our lives but he refuses to do so. Since my son's illness started I have been the stay at home mom, nurse, whatever. As well as dealing with my son I also took care of my dad in his last year. He was very sick for a very long time and he had a mitt-full of health issues that made his passing very slow and painful. I have reached a point where all I feel is pain and I am trying to find some way to change my life. Do you have any suggestions - I was born August 24, 1950 at 6:50 PM.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
Lets address your relationship with your husband first. You neglected to mention the birth date of his wiggly giggly gal at the office leaving me nothing to work with regarding what's actually going on between them. I can tell you however that last year he was in a cycle that is conducive to having an affair and that he was born with the major sign of sorrow in his chart when it comes to relationships. He does not deal with health issues very well so God forbid he ever get ill himself. He has turned a blind eye on his family when you and your boys needed him the most. This is not the sign of a very strong man or partner and you should seriously consider what you are going to do about your marriage should he not agree to go to counseling to fix the problems you are experiencing. Somehow I don't think he will but you have to ask. With transiting Saturn still moving through an area of his chart that deals with his attitude toward his partner I'd say he is closed to any ideas that suggest fixing what's wrong and is probably in denial because it is the easy way out.
You on the other hand have been a glutton for punishment and you have to put an end to it before you become ill. Being a Virgo it is hard to give in to failure and move on but sometimes it's the only means of survival. The area of your chart that deals with partnerships, marriage etc has been and will continue to go through a make it or break it period so if you don't seek help it is likely to go downhill. You are actually however in a high cycle regarding love this year with transiting Jupiter favorably aspecting your natal Venus however it is not likely that you will get the chance to take advantage of this unless you opt to kick your husband out immediately and move on. It can however help you should you be able to convince your husband to seek help and counseling. Both you and your husband are heading into your second Saturn return during the second half of next year. This is a period of reevaluating your life and making choices that will alter your future. If you both haven't already been thinking along these lines already you will be soon. This period of time will be conducive to making the effort to do something about your relationship or move on. You both went through your first Saturn return in 1979 - if you think back to that time and what you were experiencing it will help you to make the right decision now.
Your sons are a completely different story. There is no excuse for your son with mental disorders to abuse his younger brother and you and your husband should never have let this happen. Your younger son is a Cancer and family means a lot to him. Fortunately he is coming into better times right now and I believe if he can manage to move on he will do just fine however he may
