We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
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The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
Many years ago I consulted an astrologer about my chances of marrying happily, and he replied, "Do you really want to know?" He seemed so evasive and reluctant that I didn't push it. A year or two later I met my husband (9/17/53) and we have been together for nearly fifteen years. I have since learned a little about astrology and decided that the reason the astrologer was so reticent is that I have Neptune in Scorpio in the seventh house. I think this has manifested mostly in my husband's struggles with alcohol; about three years ago he finally made a major effort and got his drinking under control. Unfortunately at the same time-- I wonder if it was the catalyst-- I reconnected with an old friend (11/11/61) who is in the same line of creative work I am. Although this relationship upset my husband I did not give it up. I realize that this person is a friend and not a suitable candidate for husband/father (we have three children) but I cannot convince my husband that is the case, even though I have been faithful to him and the other relationship is somewhat tenuous. Is it that my husband is being super controlling or am I not being honest? If I give up my friend will my husband go back to drinking? The astrology books are not very reassuring on the Neptune in the seventh house thing, so I wonder if I am stuck with relationship weirdness no matter what, or if I would just be better off being a nun. My birthday is 4/4/65, at 6 AM.
Thank you--
"Doomed by Neptune"
Dear "Doomed by Neptune"
First of all your Neptune may be in your seventh house but it is well aspected to your natal Saturn and Pluto and yes it does oppose your Moon and Jupiter as well but don't lose sight of the fact that the Moon is well aspsected to both Saturn and Pluto as well. This should give you an overall positive skew on your relationship capability. Now you are right regarding partners being of an escapist nature but that doesn't mean that you can't have a successful relationship and that your current partner can't pull his act together. This set up can be highly creative sexually if that's where the energy is put and obviously you and your husband did just that, the result being your three children. With your Neptune Jupiter opposition and of course Jupiter being in your first house you can tend to overreact a bit and may not be totally honest with yourself or your partner at an emotional level. I feel that your past acquaintance is really not the issue as you do not match up to him well. As a matter of fact it is more like a sister brother connection and a strained one at that. Your Scorpio friend falls in an area of your chart that deals with dead end projects. As for your husband your comparison was okay but sorrow does prevail especially with regard to his drinking problem. With his natal Neptune in an adverse position to his natal Uranus I believe that he could fall off the wagon from time to time. However, it probably won't be the result of your friendship with your Scorpio friend. Your Scorpio however should only be someone that you deal with as a direct result of work and nothing more. If you want your marriage to work you and your husband will have to work together in order to keep his problem under control. If he can't handle it and continually gets inebriated you will have to make a decision based on what's best for you and your children. Your husband falls in an area of your chart that deals with children and partying and that is probably how things started out some 15 years ago however times have changed and he's going to have to pull up his socks or expect to lose his family.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
Your horoscopes are intelligent and gripping. I'm inspired to send you. My question. I am a Camilla Parker Bowles, without the expectation of marriage. After a long alliance (intellectual mainly) with a talented and prominent man, I see him working to stay with his (third) wife, and I am considering cutting bait. As none of our friends know of our relationship, this seems like it should be easier, but it's painful to me, and my clandestine life with this remarkable man has helped. This week his wife found out. Could anything happen here to keep my happiness intact? Due to the nature of our positions I request that you do not mention our birth data.
Thank you so much. Sincerely,
Diplomatic Sagittarius
Dear Diplomatic Sagittarius
Diplomacy is exactly what's required. The comparison is okay but does show signs of sorrow and certainly does touch off an area of your chart that deals with secret affairs. This is usually an indication of the position you will remain in with this particular man. The sorrow falls in an area of your chart that deals with work relations as well so hopefully this will not cause any problems for you professionally. Matters are coming to a head between now and October of this year and it is important that you protect yourself, if that means backing off you probably should. You are coming into a high cycle regarding love and romance this fall - this can mean that someone comes back into your life or that you find a new love. Between now and late July you are completing a transit that has caused frustration, limitation and obvious setbacks regarding love relationships. My suggestion is to back off very quickly for the time being even if it is difficult. Come fall he may have sorted out his personal problems after all he has been married three times so he isn't afraid of divorce. Regardless of how bright a person is human nature is to want what you think you can't have, if you back off now you stand a much better chance of ending up with him in the fall. My suggestion however is that you move on with your life because personally I feel that you can do better regardless of how compelling this man may be. It is apparent that it would be easier to know him the way you do. Being his wife would be a challenge to say the least. You match up well to those born under the sign Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
Sometime during the first half of February 1995 I met this man. His birth date is 4.4.1967. He was my supervisor; I was a phone sales associate. When I first saw him I disliked the way he looked and assumed I wouldn't care whatever his personality was, either. It turned out that he was a wonderful mentor, a really good boss and just naturally inclined at helping people out. I did very well on that job due to his excellent guidance, and I'm sure a lot of the people there, even though they didn't say anything to my face, thought that he was playing favorites. I didn't mind because I wanted to achieve much and get along with everybody at the same time, so my stance was basically a neutral one, which they had loved to call "being professional".
My confusion started when he began acting as if we were really close. In that place where men out number women in selling and dealing with auto parts, I didn't have difficulty eventually becoming one of the guys where handshakes, arm linking hugs, back pats (or slaps) and even shoulder holding were just normal, friendly ways of interacting so it wasn't an issue of unwanted advances or sexual harassment. What bothered me was that we couldn't seem to talk about ourselves except when it had to do with work. He was starting to grow on me, and during those times when he seemed to be making passes at me, I was delighted with it but didn't want to take him up on it, until he leveled with me on what his intentions were. I just couldn't allow it to sweep me off my feet because it didn't feel honest, and one thing I've always wanted more than anything else was to be in an equal relationship. We went on like this until he left the company to pursue other opportunities. Even though nothing officially intimate happened between us, I still felt really sad, as though a lover had left. I was depressed for a while, all the time thinking I was crazy and totally out of my head, that I didn't initiate things. What did it matter if you love a person yet you're both engaging in some sort of power play where it seemed like the affection was with held by omission?
The definite upside on the whole thing was that it prompted me to look for answers instead of letting it eat at me by becoming bitter. A lot of interesting things came up during my self-studies, but somehow I couldn't accept that it would've worked out nicely if only one of us had been up front to the other. Clearly he could've seen that I was focused on my work yet everybody had found me easy to talk to, to relate to, to connect to. It just didn't make any sense, partly because there were a lot of things that I didn't know about him, even though his actions spoke louder than words. It was strange too, that judging from what pathetic little I knew about him, I could feel that he was very familiar to me I couldn't help but think that past lives might be a valid concept. The chemistry and "magic" were all certainly there, but then again, I didn't want to think that his actions were spurred by those factors alone.
I know solidly now at this point that I'd throw caution to the winds and tell him what I feel about him if I was lucky enough to be given another chance at seeing him again. But since I'm not sure about it happening, I'm faced again with the task of finding an answer as to how to make my peace with the whole thing. Through sheer will I tried hard not to let it affect me so much as to disrupt the normal goings on in my life, and I'm proud to say I succeeded in doing so. I've talked to some people about it, but somehow I get the feeling that they don't really understand, and I don't blame them.
Astrology was one subject that really helped me make sense of it on my own. However, I've never gotten any insights from astrologers, except from interpretations I read in books. I was born March 24, 1973, at 4:04 PM. I hope my letter will be interesting enough to merit your attention and consideration. T
