We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
Many years ago I consulted an astrologer about my chances of marrying happily, and he replied, "Do you really want to know?" He seemed so evasive and reluctant that I didn't push it. A year or two later I met my husband (9/17/53) and we have been together for nearly fifteen years. I have since learned a little about astrology and decided that the reason the astrologer was so reticent is that I have Neptune in Scorpio in the seventh house. I think this has manifested mostly in my husband's struggles with alcohol; about three years ago he finally made a major effort and got his drinking under control. Unfortunately at the same time-- I wonder if it was the catalyst-- I reconnected with an old friend (11/11/61) who is in the same line of creative work I am. Although this relationship upset my husband I did not give it up. I realize that this person is a friend and not a suitable candidate for husband/father (we have three children) but I cannot convince my husband that is the case, even though I have been faithful to him and the other relationship is somewhat tenuous. Is it that my husband is being super controlling or am I not being honest? If I give up my friend will my husband go back to drinking? The astrology books are not very reassuring on the Neptune in the seventh house thing, so I wonder if I am stuck with relationship weirdness no matter what, or if I would just be better off being a nun. My birthday is 4/4/65, at 6 AM.
Thank you--
"Doomed by Neptune"
Dear "Doomed by Neptune"
First of all your Neptune may be in your seventh house but it is well aspected to your natal Saturn and Pluto and yes it does oppose your Moon and Jupiter as well but don't lose sight of the fact that the Moon is well aspsected to both Saturn and Pluto as well. This should give you an overall positive skew on your relationship capability. Now you are right regarding partners being of an escapist nature but that doesn't mean that you can't have a successful relationship and that your current partner can't pull his act together. This set up can be highly creative sexually if that's where the energy is put and obviously you and your husband did just that, the result being your three children. With your Neptune Jupiter opposition and of course Jupiter being in your first house you can tend to overreact a bit and may not be totally honest with yourself or your partner at an emotional level. I feel that your past acquaintance is really not the issue as you do not match up to him well. As a matter of fact it is more like a sister brother connection and a strained one at that. Your Scorpio friend falls in an area of your chart that deals with dead end projects. As for your husband your comparison was okay but sorrow does prevail especially with regard to his drinking problem. With his natal Neptune in an adverse position to his natal Uranus I believe that he could fall off the wagon from time to time. However, it probably won't be the result of your friendship with your Scorpio friend. Your Scorpio however should only be someone that you deal with as a direct result of work and nothing more. If you want your marriage to work you and your husband will have to work together in order to keep his problem under control. If he can't handle it and continually gets inebriated you will have to make a decision based on what's best for you and your children. Your husband falls in an area of your chart that deals with children and partying and that is probably how things started out some 15 years ago however times have changed and he's going to have to pull up his socks or expect to lose his family.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
I am really confused. I dislike my dad's partner - Unfortunately intensely. This started shortly after he met her 2 years after he and Mum separated, now 8 years ago, when I was 10. Until recently she treated me considerately, but I continued to dislike her. Now she has openly shown an aggressive dislike of me. I am now older and have decided to write down my dislikes of her. Today she refused to cooperate with this saying do what you like I am not interested. I live with her, my dad and their son, Giles, my brother. Dad is miserable and I don't want to split them up (as threatened by her) but I can't change the way I feel fundamentally. Any suggestions? I was born June 2, 1988 at 3:30 PM.
Gemini Son
Dear Eugenia
Do you give advice to men in distress? I should wait for your reply, but I am in need of immediate advice. I am 55, born February 23, 1951 at 9:30 AM and I have an 18 old son, a 35 year old partner and our son of 6. Eldest son and partner don't get on. After years of aggression by him, eldest son attempted to ameliorate situation by beginning to be civil to her, but too late it seems. Now his attempts, clumsy though they may be are rebuffed by her. I think she is being unreasonable, but I appreciate she is very hurt. I am piggy in the middle, as usual. Not the first time (third marriage/relationship). Help!!!
Distressed Father
Dear Gemini Son and Distressed Father
I tired to email both of you to find out when your stepmother/partner was born considering she is the main issue but your emails bounced back to me therefore I am combining your emails and looking at your charts to see if I can help.
As a father you should have nipped that nastiness that your son continually shoved in your partners face a long time ago. He may not have liked her but that didn't mean that he had to abuse her and at the same time hurt you. Your son is vocal and can be unpredictable and act in haste saying things that are hurtful. He is intelligent, charming and knows how to manipulate situations which is precisely what he has done, and you have let him. As a Pisces father and partner you have been too soft trying to preserve peace with both your wife and your son. This has probably made you appear weak in the eyes of your partner causing her to lose respect and at this point probably not really caring all that much if both you and your son leave. Without her chart it is impossible for me to tell you exactly where she is at or how strong your astrological comparison is however you can check that out yourself if you go to my www.astroadvice.com web site and run a compatibility test. If you measure up to 70% or higher you probably have a chance to turn things around.
I fear however that with the onslaught of transiting Saturn moving in to oppose your Pisces planets you are about to face some limitations that could easily lead to another failed marriage. If your partner is a Sagittarius or Capricorn I imagine she has had enough and is heading out the door. You may want to consider doing some very fast-talking and decision making if you want to give a last attempt at rectifying this problem.
With the cooperation of your Gemini son who has not been a stellar addition to the family you may pull this off. He may be trying to make amends but short of him moving out it may not be enough. Being 18 now he should be close to pursuing higher education so possibly he can go away for his next level of schooling. It is obvious that he is smart and that he should be continuing his education so please consider this as it is probably the best option if you want to make you marriage work. If your son doesn't want to move out or go away to school remind him that he owes you and your partner for putting up with all the crap he has dished out the past ten years. After all who the heck was running the show at home
Dear Eugenia:
I sincerely hope that you can find some order in my swirling mass of chaotic emotions. I am a Taurus woman (born May 6, 1971 at 1:36 p.m.) that was deeply hurt last year by a Cancer (July 10, 1968) whom I thought I was going to marry, and then by a Capricorn (January 14, 1971) who lied to me, yet still shows up in my life now and then and tells me how much he misses me (and he has a girlfriend now too - a Pisces). I don't mean to sound bitter, but I feel that my relationships are always doomed to failure, and every time I get knocked down (figuratively speaking, of course), it gets a little harder to stand back up again. I'm starting to feel a little better about myself, but I am still wounded by the fact that Mr. Cancer didn't want to marry me because of my medical condition (I'm diabetic), and it was his parents that forced him to break up with me. I want to feel good about myself again, and I don't want to be lonely anymore: I feel that I am ready to start a relationship - one that would hopefully lead to a future marriage. My question is this: should I actively pursue relationships at this time, or do I need a little more time to concentrate on myself and my well-being? If you could give me some insight into the next six months (if possible), you could help ease my troubled mind a little so I can focus on a positive direction in my life.
Thank you ever so much
Eternally grateful
Dear Eternally grateful
You are best to get the Cancer out of your mind. If he wasn't strong enough to stand up for you when his family discouraged him you have to know that he wasn't right for you. The Capricorn was really someone who was meant to be a social acquaintance. As for the signs best suited to you consider a Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio or Pisces. You are in a high cycle for meeting someone new right now however that transit will only be with you until late May. After that I suggest that you focus on yourself, your career and your home. You will be in another high cycle from mid July on for the next couple of years.
