We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi there Eugenia,
My birth date is July 15, 1979, at 3:15 PM. I've been involved in a gay relationship with another guy (Birth date: 03 June 1977 05:15 PM) for the last 3 months. When we started our relationship he was living with his ex and he said it was a "living arrangement"...I believed him. Anyway during our relationship he would rarely visit me (we stay in different cities) and behave oddly if I ran into him in a public place with his ex around. Eventually he came clean with me (his friends forced him to tell the truth) and it turned out that he'd been having a relationship with the "ex" at the same time as me, and recently started seeing yet another guy. After all of this and around 2 weeks of deciding what to do, I called him and we broke it off. Leaving me very hurt and confused...He still says that he loves me and everything we had was real, but I'm at a loss to describe the pain this has caused me. Especially since him and the new guy are now fully in a relationship. I'd really like some advice on this situation, and if I should be foolish enough to still hope that one day we will get back together...
Thnx,
Broken
Dear Broken
You met your messiah, in other words you met someone who captured your heart and you had no power to pry yourself from him. The comparison was so powerful between you. This Gemini is just as bad for you as he is good. You can't however allow yourself to be played with this way. It isn't good for your self-esteem. You are too proud to forgive and you shouldn't forget. Playing sexual games can be dangerous and it's obvious that your Gemini friend doesn't care enough about any of his partners to be open and honest about his goings on. Unfortunately he probably will slip in and out of your life until you put a stop to it. I strongly suggest that you put up your guard and move on. You will be coming into a transit over the summer as well as during the first half of next year that does indicate that people from your past will want back into your life. You must remember that he will not change. He is not a lover who can be true to one person, let alone himself. If you go with him you will be risking your emotional and your physical well-being. During this transit, it can also mean that you will have some new people come into your life. However, if someone is preoccupying your life you aren't likely to have the opportunity to start a new relationship. I know that your Gemini friend is exciting and adventurous and that you have plenty of chemistry with him but that will not be enough in this case. Please consider making yourself a list of all the reasons why this person hurt you, and why you should not be together and carry it with you. When he tries to come back into your life read your notes. Hopefully you will find the strength to say no to him. You do match up to, and attract, the sign Gemini. Nonetheless Gemini's are not good for you in general due to your natal Neptune placement. You should consider a Leo or Aquarius for future relationships.
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
Dear Eugenia,
I think I lost my sense of humor and I can't seem to get it back. In the past, I was able to laugh, to joke and most of the time, make fun of friends in a humorous ways and have everybody laughing. But nowadays, I can hardly laugh myself. And it seems that I am too serious in my everyday conversation. A conversation of a humorous nature, my comments or answers can totally spoil the mood. If I try to make a funny remark, it seems very unnatural and tends to come out forced. Is this part of growing up or has my astrological nature got something to do with it. Or has it anything to do with my social life. For the past few years, my social life has gradually settled down to just 2 groups of friends, each about 10 members, and our gatherings over the years have gradually reduced to once a month or twice a month. Does it mean that my spending most of my time alone has killed the humorous side of me? Please help. I am born on the 29th of December 1976, time about 5 past 12 midnight (not too sure).
Humorless
Dear Humorless
You're being too hard on yourself. Yes you are growing up but that doesn't mean that you will lose your humor. Humor is usually determined by the placement of a person's natal Mercury. In your case you have your natal Mercury in the sign Capricorn well aspected to your natal Jupiter in Taurus. As you get older you will find different things in life humorous. Such as jokes that pertain to business, colleagues, big investment deals, money matters etc. You also have Libra rising and this will also give you a more sophisticated manner of joking as you mature. There is nothing wrong with that. You are not a silly little kid anymore but that doesn't mean that you can't use your intelligence and knowledge to crack a joke. You are still in a high cycle regarding higher education, travel and making new friends who have the same interests and beliefs that you have so start getting out and getting involved. You are also in a high cycle regarding love, romance and socializing so stop being so concerned about being funny and start thinking about getting romantically serious. There are many positive things for you to look forward to however if you are negative and down on yourself because you aren't the same as you were in your youth you will miss all the wonderful opportunities that can and will lead to the next phase of your life.
Eugenia
