We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I am a Virgo born on Sept.16, 1970. I been married to a cancer born on July 9,1970. We've been married 3 1/2 years. We were dating for 8 years. Our marriage was going great. But then, I had an affair with a co-worker. I told my husband the truth. He said that he would forgive me and would not leave me. The co-worker is a Virgo like me born on September 14, 1955. He was very good to me. I was feeling lonely and he was also. My husband is military. So, sometimes he is gone. The problem is that my husband says he wants us to work things out, but in the process he gets upset for remembering my affair and starts insulting me a lot. He has never hit me, but once he did because he wanted to know who the guy was. I told him not to hit me and he didn't. He doesn't hurt me physically, but emotionally he does. So, now I am confused. The other guy is married, but his wife filed for divorce. He wants me to also get a divorce and go with him. I just don't know what to do. I am confused! What do you think I should do?
Confused
Dear Confused
I'm not surprised that you are confused. My dear girl, what were you thinking. You have such a good comparison with your husband except for the fact that deception and sorrow due to secret affairs could very well ruin this connection. Your husband is a proud man and it will be difficult for him to forgive you completely. The fact that he has his natal Mercury in the sign Cancer indicates that he will never be able to forget what you have done to him and to your marriage. As for your lover, well you didn't really match up very well. Emotional deception and disillusionment are evident. You have to make some quick decisions in order to get your life back on course. If you think you can salvage your marriage by all means do so, get counseling or whatever it takes. If you decide that it's too late and you must move on do so but not by moving from one hot bed to another. You need to give yourself time to discover who you are and what you really want. I do not believe that you really want your secret lover. I feel that you were attracted to him due to a void you were feeling. Your husband might not have been spending enough time with you or perhaps neither one of you worked hard enough to make your marriage work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes plenty of patience, understanding and hard work on the part of both parties. Divorce does look like the direction you are heading. Whether you stay or leave you will be experiencing emotional difficulties due to the poor choices that you have made in the past.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I have known this boy which I will call J for about 2 years. I knew him from the time I accidentally knocked him down with my bicycle and sent him to the hospital. We have been dating since. However, everyone despises him because he has a scar on his forehead. My father (my mum's passed away) is sure that he was once a gangster and declared that he would not let me be with a gangster. The problem is, I know he is not a gangster and that he got the scar when he was 6 years old through an unfortunate incident but there is no way my father or anyone will change their views about him, despite the fact he's a polite and helpful man. J likes me a lot and vice versa. I could tell his sex drive is great because he always seems to be looking at me in a 'weird sort of way' but he respects my decision to remain a virgin till marriage. Recently, he suggested that we elope because my father is putting too much pressure on us which I admit but I'm still not sure. For one thing, I cannot leave my father behind just like that. But I love J a lot and would like to be with him forever. I really don't know what to do now. His birthday is 21 November, 12.01 AM and I'm a Virgo born on 19 September, 1982, at 4:37 AM. What should I do, Eugenia?
Desperate Virgo
Dear Desperate Virgo
You didn?t specify your boyfriend?s year of birth and that can make my assessment difficult. However, I can tell you that honesty is the best policy and that you should sit down and talk to your father. Let him know how strongly you feel and how much it means to you that he make an effort to get to know your Scorpio friend better. You have an interesting chart that shows great promise in an area that deals with your career. The next few years it will be crucial that you spend time focusing on what you want to be, and do, with the rest of your life. Educational pursuits should be your focus right now followed by a good paying job that you enjoy.
You may be a Virgo but you have a strong Libra influence and that is usually an indicator that you will be much happier throughout life if you have balance, harmony and monetary satisfaction. Without your Scorpio?s year of birth I can not tell you if he will satisfy your needs. I can tell you that he falls in an area of your chart that does denote a strong friendship. If you continue to build your friendship slowly you may eventually gain your fathers confidence in your relationship. You might also consider listening to why your father?s negativity regarding your boyfriend?s background is so strong. Maybe he knows something that you don?t.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
In January of 97 I became romantically involved with my teacher (his birth date:Aug.19,1950). He is married (his wife born Aug.10,1955). He had assured me that there was no romantic involvement with her and that he loved me, that the only reason he didn't leave her was because of his child, that theirs was a "business relationship." I believed him and loved him deeply, but recently found out that he still was having relations occasionally with her. He said that all along his feelings had been conflicting, that he didn't want to give her up, so when I said I wanted fidelity, he dumped me. His wife told me she plans to "punish" him. I am hurting terribly because I still love him very much. It is also going to hurt my studies, because he won't allow me in his classes any more. He had also gotten me a job at one of the places where he works. The day he ended the relationship (because I "pushed" him too far, he said), May 3rd (this year), I was angry and said I wanted to quit that job, so he cancelled my involvement in a joint project we were working on, which hurt my students as well as myself. I feel so hurt I cry all the time and wish I could die. I wish I had never said anything, and that our relationship had continued. Now I feel like my whole life is falling apart, because everything I did revolved around him. I have been to the counselor at school; she has been sympathetic but has no suggestions. He calls me sometimes, he says because he is sorry he hurt me, but he offers me no hope. He said he still doesn't know how he feels about anything, that I should do nothing and let time work things out. But I feel like I need to make some decisions about my life. Can you please help me? I don't even know what question to ask you, but perhaps you have some ideas. Thank you for reading my letter. It feels better just to know that you have "listened."
Sincerely,
Teachers Pet
Dear Teachers Pet
What were you thinking? Your comparison with your philandering professor wasn't all that great, for that matter his comparison with his wife wasn't earth shattering either. You are both dealing with a man who is full of himself and very capable of having secret affairs with women who are vulnerable or na?ve enough to believe his dribble. You unfortunately have been going through a very rough couple of years where love and relationships are concerned. Although your chart does denote that you could have someone from your past waltz back into your life, I certainly hope that you have enough will power to say no this time around. You should feel sorry for this man and even sorrier for his wife, whom I must say has also gone through similar transits to you regarding her relationship. I must mention that your chart and his wife's have an uncanny resemblance. I know that you are confused, hurting and you just want to be happy but strength and control will be necessary. I think that the more you back away from this man, the more he will want to come closer. It's hard to control what's in your heart especially when you are as sensitive and loving as you are. You were looking for that white knight who could stimulate you mentally and physically and we all know how hard that is to find. Please try to put this relationship in perspective and move on with your life. You will be in a high cycle for love and romance in June and I would hate to see you waste it on this man. You deserve better and I know that if you get out and join groups or organizations that you believe in you will meet like-minded people who can turn your crank. You match up well to those born under the signs Virgo, Capricorn and Pisces.
Eugenia
