We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I am a Virgo born on Sept.16, 1970. I been married to a cancer born on July 9,1970. We've been married 3 1/2 years. We were dating for 8 years. Our marriage was going great. But then, I had an affair with a co-worker. I told my husband the truth. He said that he would forgive me and would not leave me. The co-worker is a Virgo like me born on September 14, 1955. He was very good to me. I was feeling lonely and he was also. My husband is military. So, sometimes he is gone. The problem is that my husband says he wants us to work things out, but in the process he gets upset for remembering my affair and starts insulting me a lot. He has never hit me, but once he did because he wanted to know who the guy was. I told him not to hit me and he didn't. He doesn't hurt me physically, but emotionally he does. So, now I am confused. The other guy is married, but his wife filed for divorce. He wants me to also get a divorce and go with him. I just don't know what to do. I am confused! What do you think I should do?
Confused
Dear Confused
I'm not surprised that you are confused. My dear girl, what were you thinking. You have such a good comparison with your husband except for the fact that deception and sorrow due to secret affairs could very well ruin this connection. Your husband is a proud man and it will be difficult for him to forgive you completely. The fact that he has his natal Mercury in the sign Cancer indicates that he will never be able to forget what you have done to him and to your marriage. As for your lover, well you didn't really match up very well. Emotional deception and disillusionment are evident. You have to make some quick decisions in order to get your life back on course. If you think you can salvage your marriage by all means do so, get counseling or whatever it takes. If you decide that it's too late and you must move on do so but not by moving from one hot bed to another. You need to give yourself time to discover who you are and what you really want. I do not believe that you really want your secret lover. I feel that you were attracted to him due to a void you were feeling. Your husband might not have been spending enough time with you or perhaps neither one of you worked hard enough to make your marriage work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes plenty of patience, understanding and hard work on the part of both parties. Divorce does look like the direction you are heading. Whether you stay or leave you will be experiencing emotional difficulties due to the poor choices that you have made in the past.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
When I was a child I seemed to be able to do everything without effort. I was a success at most anything I tried. Then my parents separated when I was a junior in high school and things just fell apart for me. I feel like a loser. People tell me I am a strong person, and I try to be, but I feel that somehow I am wearing a mask and pretending. I don't feel strong. I have flunked out of college and am working in a retail job that isn't challenging. I tried taking a couple classes, but dropped out.
My relationships are really messed up. I have been seeing and living with a wonderful person for the past two years. He loves me and is wonderful to me, but I don't feel that I love him the way I should. I checked our romance compatibility with your site and found that I was what he was looking for (79 percent), but he was only 51% for me. I am afraid to say anything to him about this because I don't want to hurt his feelings. In the compatibility report it said that I could only survive in a balanced and harmonious atmosphere. I don't want that to be true.
I also keep thinking about someone who I loved in the past. This was not a safe relationship as he kept leaving me, but I feel like I was more in love with him although the compatibility report looks similar to the relationship I'm in now. He did come back and said he loved me, but I was too afraid. Now I'm thinking I might have made a mistake.
I am afraid to be alone, but I'm also afraid to be married because I don't want to end up hating someone I once loved. Is there anything in my chart that can explain any of this and is there any hope for my future? Is either relationship something I should pursue or should I just try it on my own?
I was born on September 27, 1980 at 12:47 pm. The guy I am with now was born on June 13, 1978 and my past love on May 17, 1981 in the late morning or early afternoon.
I would appreciate any help you could give me, please!
Undecided
Dear Undecided
You are moving into a period of make it or break it where relationships are concerned and you are also in a period where past lovers can come back into your life. Although both comparisons are okay I fear that your motives are wrong. You are going through a period of uncertainty and you shouldn't choose to be with either right now. You will be in a much better position at the end of 2002 and the summer and fall of 2003. Until that time you should probably get to know yourself a little better. Discover what other partners have to offer and play the field a little. You need more experience before you should settle down.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I realize you are swamped with letters, however I am going through a divorce after 291/2-years. I was born 3-31-48 at 11:27pm in Chicago, IL. My husband was born 8-28-50 at 11:13am in Gary, Indiana. Everyone thought we were the perfect couple! We have one daughter age 27 that dearly loves us both. My husband had an affair with his 25-year old secretary. I found out in Feb. of this year and he did not give her up after all my attempts to make the marriage work. I finally realized I am better off without him. But, God it hurts and I am scared to death. We came to a divorce agreement on Friday and the papers are being drawn up for us to sign. How do I get my self-confidence back after being knocked down for so many years? Last week I saw my first loves identical twin brother and we definitely have a connection (I think) he was born 3-1-41.
I am looking for advice on how to go on with my life and not hurt so much. I loved my husband so much but didn't like what he turned into. Please help me-I am hurting so bad.
Aries
Dear Aries
You have a pretty good chart. Some high cycles are approaching in different areas of life. Romance and relationships look promising between October and February and it will be important that you get out and join in the fun in order to hook up with someone who can take your mind off your cheating husband. You do match up quite nicely to your first loves brother and I wouldn't hesitate to follow through with your connection to him. You also match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn and Pisces. Regarding your comparison with your ex, surprisingly enough it was just adequate. I must stress that it is important that you take care of any legal matters. Make sure that you get your share of whatever the two of you accumulated over the years. It's one thing to be hurt and another to be hurt and financially in the poorhouse. Once you know that your financial situation is okay you will feel much better about yourself and your future. You should be considering what you want to do with the rest of your life. The area of your chart that deals with work and money is moving into favorable times and you should consider all the things that you used to dream about doing. Your chart indicates that you do have ability in areas that deal with communications, travel, hospitality industry and sales. Don't be afraid to try new things. You will find out how capable you are very quickly if you take control and make the effort.
Eugenia
