We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I am a Virgo born on Sept.16, 1970. I been married to a cancer born on July 9,1970. We've been married 3 1/2 years. We were dating for 8 years. Our marriage was going great. But then, I had an affair with a co-worker. I told my husband the truth. He said that he would forgive me and would not leave me. The co-worker is a Virgo like me born on September 14, 1955. He was very good to me. I was feeling lonely and he was also. My husband is military. So, sometimes he is gone. The problem is that my husband says he wants us to work things out, but in the process he gets upset for remembering my affair and starts insulting me a lot. He has never hit me, but once he did because he wanted to know who the guy was. I told him not to hit me and he didn't. He doesn't hurt me physically, but emotionally he does. So, now I am confused. The other guy is married, but his wife filed for divorce. He wants me to also get a divorce and go with him. I just don't know what to do. I am confused! What do you think I should do?
Confused
Dear Confused
I'm not surprised that you are confused. My dear girl, what were you thinking. You have such a good comparison with your husband except for the fact that deception and sorrow due to secret affairs could very well ruin this connection. Your husband is a proud man and it will be difficult for him to forgive you completely. The fact that he has his natal Mercury in the sign Cancer indicates that he will never be able to forget what you have done to him and to your marriage. As for your lover, well you didn't really match up very well. Emotional deception and disillusionment are evident. You have to make some quick decisions in order to get your life back on course. If you think you can salvage your marriage by all means do so, get counseling or whatever it takes. If you decide that it's too late and you must move on do so but not by moving from one hot bed to another. You need to give yourself time to discover who you are and what you really want. I do not believe that you really want your secret lover. I feel that you were attracted to him due to a void you were feeling. Your husband might not have been spending enough time with you or perhaps neither one of you worked hard enough to make your marriage work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes plenty of patience, understanding and hard work on the part of both parties. Divorce does look like the direction you are heading. Whether you stay or leave you will be experiencing emotional difficulties due to the poor choices that you have made in the past.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I have read some of your responses to the letters posted in your new advice feature, and I'm impressed with your knowledgeable and common sense advice. I am wondering if you can help me, as well. I am a professional Leo woman, who was born on July 25, 1962, 11:46pm. I have recently moved back to my home state for two reasons: I have just gotten a great job with a software company here and I am also looking for a fresh new start as I have just gotten a divorce from my ex-husband, born August 25, 1953, 5:55am. My marriage was never really great to begin with, but had gotten especially bad during the last two years, as my ex-husband became increasingly more and more verbally and mentally abusive. I left him when he started becoming physically abusive towards me and threatened my life. After I left him, I spent the next year and a half-alone trying to re-build my life and heal from my emotional wounds. I realized through therapy and self-examination that most of my relationships with men in the past have been emotionally destructive. Now that I am getting settled in my new home and job and am starting to feel better about myself, I want to start dating again. Just recently I've met a nice man through a friend and he and I just started seeing each other. He and I seem to get along well and have a lot in common; also my friend tells me that he is a genuinely nice guy. What worries me is that this man is a Virgo, like my ex-husband. I've noticed in my self-analysis that although I'm a Leo, most of my long-lasting relationships have been with Virgo men. This new man's birth data is Sept. 20, 1960 (birth time unknown). Is this new relationship destined to become destructive and emotionally unfulfilling like my marriage and past relationships were, or can I finally let the past go and look forward to new love, new life, and much better things in my future?
Wounded yet Hopeful Lioness
Dear Wounded yet Hopeful Lioness
A person's chart is as individualistic as a finger print. Your ex husband is really quite different from your new man and so is your comparison with both. You really matched up very poorly to your ex and I'm not surprised that it didn't last. Your ex only has his natal Sun in the sign Virgo and the rest of the planets in his chart are spread out between the signs Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Libra and Pisces. Your new man on the other hand has his natal Sun, Moon and Pluto in the sign Virgo with some planets falling in the signs Gemini, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius and Capricorn. Your chart indicates that you do have a problem where relationships are concerned and that you are prone to picking poorly or for the wrong reason. You do match up far better to your new Virgo and I do believe that you can enjoy an honest and open relationship with him. You will be in an exceptionally high cycle for love during the later half of next year and the first half of the year 2002. This can mean that this relationship will develop into something very strong or you will meet someone new who will capture your heart. Please get a comparison done if you do decide to date someone new to ensure that you aren't picking the wrong partner.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
This is my 2nd attempt to earn your analysis/insight. Close to 1 year ago, the relationship I had with my fiance began to crumble. Although we had known each other quite well since grade school, we did not become a serious couple until 5/97. My birth info: 3/27/76 at 1:05pm. His birth info: 3/20/76 at about 4:20pm- our breakup began 7/14/00 and he ended our relationship in a letter I got 8/14/00. We were to wed 11/18/00. We don't talk anymore. I am missing many answers as to why our solid relationship failed. It's like he just gave up. I do know he became involved w/ another girl 6/00. I discovered this after our relationship ended. I don't know her birth info, but have learned that their relationship recently ended.
I made a lot of changes after my engagement ended...new location/new job. I'm happy with my new job; esp. since I'm now earning much more money, however money is still tight, as I am trying to pay off my debts (credit cards).
My questions for you involve the outlook of my future. What do you see? My social circle in my new location is lacking. I haven't come close to dating since my engagement ended. This is partially due to me needing to 'heal' and partially due to not finding anyone who would go out with me. I'm thankful for my great job..but what about friends....romance? What do you see? Will my ex-fianc? and I cross paths again, or is there really someone else out there who's my soul mate? Will I succeed financially? I had so many goals that I wanted to have accomplished by now--be married...be debt-free (or close to debt-free) and I haven't accomplished them. Gosh, are things ever going to get better so I can be happy about all aspects of my life? I'm losing the faith. Please help.
~Searching...
Alone
Dear Alone
The comparison between you and your ex wasn't that great therefore you should view your situation as a blessing in disguise. I wouldn't however be surprised if you did cross paths again during the course of the next year because both your chart and his indicate people from your past coming back into your lives. This can also mean new romantic ties so please look forward not back. If you get out and involved in worthwhile community groups you will meet some interesting people. Yes you will have to spend a little in order to have some fun or join groups that interest you but it will be worth investing in yourself, your future and meeting potential partners so get on with it. Investments will also be in a high cycle this year if you are conservative. If you rent you might consider trying to purchase a small home or condo in order to build some future security as well as to stop throwing money out the window on rent. You match up well to those born under the signs Leo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Aquarius.
Eugenia
