We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I am a Virgo born on Sept.16, 1970. I been married to a cancer born on July 9,1970. We've been married 3 1/2 years. We were dating for 8 years. Our marriage was going great. But then, I had an affair with a co-worker. I told my husband the truth. He said that he would forgive me and would not leave me. The co-worker is a Virgo like me born on September 14, 1955. He was very good to me. I was feeling lonely and he was also. My husband is military. So, sometimes he is gone. The problem is that my husband says he wants us to work things out, but in the process he gets upset for remembering my affair and starts insulting me a lot. He has never hit me, but once he did because he wanted to know who the guy was. I told him not to hit me and he didn't. He doesn't hurt me physically, but emotionally he does. So, now I am confused. The other guy is married, but his wife filed for divorce. He wants me to also get a divorce and go with him. I just don't know what to do. I am confused! What do you think I should do?
Confused
Dear Confused
I'm not surprised that you are confused. My dear girl, what were you thinking. You have such a good comparison with your husband except for the fact that deception and sorrow due to secret affairs could very well ruin this connection. Your husband is a proud man and it will be difficult for him to forgive you completely. The fact that he has his natal Mercury in the sign Cancer indicates that he will never be able to forget what you have done to him and to your marriage. As for your lover, well you didn't really match up very well. Emotional deception and disillusionment are evident. You have to make some quick decisions in order to get your life back on course. If you think you can salvage your marriage by all means do so, get counseling or whatever it takes. If you decide that it's too late and you must move on do so but not by moving from one hot bed to another. You need to give yourself time to discover who you are and what you really want. I do not believe that you really want your secret lover. I feel that you were attracted to him due to a void you were feeling. Your husband might not have been spending enough time with you or perhaps neither one of you worked hard enough to make your marriage work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes plenty of patience, understanding and hard work on the part of both parties. Divorce does look like the direction you are heading. Whether you stay or leave you will be experiencing emotional difficulties due to the poor choices that you have made in the past.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am in a long distance relationship with a man 5 hours from me (Oct. 24, 1979) and I am wondering how we can make it work or if it really could work since I don't have the time (nor money) to waste on unworthy causes.
I feel very strongly about him. We've met twice & the first time we were both out of sorts. Last time we had a great time! I've never had an online relationship but I do understand that a lot of work is involved. Commitment, sacrifices & compromising are the top 3 things I can think of. I'm afraid that I won't be able to provide my part of the bargain as well as he could. I'm afraid that after some time we'll be too tired to continue this relationship & feel that we have -really- wasted our time & money. I haven't been able to find someone as compatible with me as he in my own town. I've been single for over a year now. I'm afraid I might only be interested in him because he's interested in me too, just because I've been single for so long (I don't think that's very truthful though).
The only way that an online relationship can work is if both partners plan on being together down the line. We're not dating yet but we both want to move back to BC in the near future. I have so many fears. What about my education? My career? What if we're only compatible with distance between us, & then we rip each other to shreds once we're together-together? ARGH!!
Could you offer me a bit of astrological advice? I do know that all but 2 of his & my astro houses are located under the same sign. Any words of wisdom would be really appreciated!
Wrapped up
Dear Wrapped up
The comparison was okay. Keep in mind that in order to have a relationship work it takes work. People always think that if they fall in love that's all it takes but unfortunately a relationship probably takes more time, effort and work then anything else you do in life. I believe that he is someone who can help you achieve some of your dreams, hopes and wishes, however that doesn't mean that you will end up together forever. More so than having a long term or everlasting union a relationship should be based on how much you learn from one another, enjoy one another and compliment one another. You have time to kill right now as the next time you are in a really high cycle for love is next year. As for now you should be enjoying whatever time you do get to spend with one another. Just because you live a distance doesn't mean that you can't do things on the cheap. You'd probably spend just as much cash staying at home as you would staying at his place or vise versa. If you really enjoy one another's company you'll find ways to spend more time together while you discover each other's likes, dislikes, needs and desires. Don't be impatient love and relationships take time.
Eugenia
Hi Eugenia
I am very involved in a long distance relationship. We talk every day, but, of course, see each other infrequently. We have 3 visits of 2 weeks each planned for this year.?We have started to think about relocating to be together. The question is...which one of us moves?? Also, when should the move be planned for?? We are both in the same business and would work together too, although his business is more established than mine, so it would be easier for me to work into his.? But my family is here, and I love where I live.? Only love could make me leave it.? One more wrinkle...he is recently separated, and I feel he needs some time on his own...to be single...before making a long term commitment. With that in mind, I do fear the thoughts of losing him. My question for you Eugenia is this:? does it make sense for me to think about planning for a future of living and working with this man? Or should I just enjoy what we have now, knowing that it is short term?
I really appreciate any insight you can give me in this situation.? Dealing with a long distance relationship can be wonderful....or dreadful.? I hate the thoughts of setting myself up for getting hurt.? Thank you so much for your help Eugenia....you are wonderful! Please do not include our birth data.
Leo
Hi Leo
I don?t have a concern with the age difference however there was one problem that the astrological comparison did reveal. His natal Sun is opposite your natal Neptune and this can cause some deception or difficulties in an area of his chart that deals with communication and travel or the distance that you have between you. In your chart it deals with a work area which could eventually create problems because you are in the same vocation or work for the same company. I do not however feel that this is something that should stop you from pursuing you intention to eventually make a move to be together. His chart indicates that he is more inclined to make a short distance move over the next year. In other words he buys a house and moves from where he is living now to a nearby neighborhood. In your case the move appears to be a distant move from one state or province to another over the upcoming year.
There are no guarantees when it comes to love and even though your comparison is good a relationship takes work. If you feel that you will miss your friends and family you may want to consider your option to move very slowly with this relationship. Where he resides it is certainly not the same climate physically or mentally and the adjustment will be difficult. I suggest that you spend as much time visiting him as possible to get a better feel for the area. He falls in an area of your chart that deals with relationships which is good and you fall in the offshoot of that area in his chart which also brings favorable results. My only concern is that you are very family oriented and it will be difficult for you to leave the people you love behind should you make the move. If he were to make the move to your local it would have to be in the fall of 2005. Before that time would probably be a mistake or lead to some problems. If you feel that you want to take that amount of time before you are together I would suggest that you do so.
Eugenia
