We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I am a Virgo born on Sept.16, 1970. I been married to a cancer born on July 9,1970. We've been married 3 1/2 years. We were dating for 8 years. Our marriage was going great. But then, I had an affair with a co-worker. I told my husband the truth. He said that he would forgive me and would not leave me. The co-worker is a Virgo like me born on September 14, 1955. He was very good to me. I was feeling lonely and he was also. My husband is military. So, sometimes he is gone. The problem is that my husband says he wants us to work things out, but in the process he gets upset for remembering my affair and starts insulting me a lot. He has never hit me, but once he did because he wanted to know who the guy was. I told him not to hit me and he didn't. He doesn't hurt me physically, but emotionally he does. So, now I am confused. The other guy is married, but his wife filed for divorce. He wants me to also get a divorce and go with him. I just don't know what to do. I am confused! What do you think I should do?
Confused
Dear Confused
I'm not surprised that you are confused. My dear girl, what were you thinking. You have such a good comparison with your husband except for the fact that deception and sorrow due to secret affairs could very well ruin this connection. Your husband is a proud man and it will be difficult for him to forgive you completely. The fact that he has his natal Mercury in the sign Cancer indicates that he will never be able to forget what you have done to him and to your marriage. As for your lover, well you didn't really match up very well. Emotional deception and disillusionment are evident. You have to make some quick decisions in order to get your life back on course. If you think you can salvage your marriage by all means do so, get counseling or whatever it takes. If you decide that it's too late and you must move on do so but not by moving from one hot bed to another. You need to give yourself time to discover who you are and what you really want. I do not believe that you really want your secret lover. I feel that you were attracted to him due to a void you were feeling. Your husband might not have been spending enough time with you or perhaps neither one of you worked hard enough to make your marriage work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes plenty of patience, understanding and hard work on the part of both parties. Divorce does look like the direction you are heading. Whether you stay or leave you will be experiencing emotional difficulties due to the poor choices that you have made in the past.
Eugenia
Hi Eugenia
I've written to you several times but as yet have not had an answer, so I'm sure that you must be extremely busy. Your advice is so thorough that I hope you will answer my letter. I have been seeing a Gemini male, born June 13, 1950, 4:30 p.m. We've been intimate but it has been more as a friendship than anything else. We don't live together but we live nearby one another. I've known him for approximately one and a half years. He comes on hot and cold (depending on his stresses of the day). He works in an extremely high stress job. If he's had a couple of beers he confesses that he likes me and that he can't believe that I would care for someone like him. He insists he wants to remain friends, yet when I tell him that I can't be friends and try to let go, he talks me into hanging around. I love this man deeply and have been trying to help him. Deep down I feel that he cares more than as a friend for me and doesn't want me out of his life. If the job has stressed him that particular day he does not want to talk and if he does, he has a tendency of cutting you off, so that all you want to do is get off the phone with him. Am I wasting my time? Should I continue to be friends with him? He continually tells me that I deserve better because he's not very stable emotionally, then when I stay away and then see him again, he's major happy to see me. Please tell me if it's worth my while to continue being friends with him or should I just leave him alone and hope he gets better without me. I'm having a hard time letting go but I need to know if I'm wasting my time. I was born January 7, 1947 at 5:15 PM.
Sabrina
Hi Sabrina
You have to be friends before you become lovers. Friends are there forever but lovers come and go. Wake up and realize that if you enjoy being with this man it really doesn't matter and get over his Gemini aloofness and enjoy the moment. I do believe that he loves you. You match up very well emotionally, physically and mentally - what more do you want. On the down side he falls in an area of your chart that deals with secret affairs so if he isn't including you in the rest of his life you may have a serious problem to deal with and you fall in an area of his chart that deals with communication and dealing with his friends and family so if there is a problem regarding these matters you may want to consider clearing them up before moving forward. Your chart indicates that you will be in a high cycle regarding commitment and getting serious beginning mid summer however that doesn't guarantee that it will be with him. With transiting Saturn beginning to move across the top of his chart this year you may find him more receptive to settling down as well as less stressed because he will finally be getting the recognition he needs to feel good about his work. If you don't find him leaning toward becoming more serious between now and the fall of next year you may want to set your sights on someone new. That being the case you may want to consider someone born under the sign Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn or Pisces.
Eugenia
Hi Eugenia
Here is my problem. My husband of 17 years (September 19,1959.) He has been visiting my ex-girlfriend, I tell him I don't like it, he's says he's doing nothing wrong that they are just friends and nothing more. This causes me pain and our marriage isn't that great these days. I was born Feb.15 1960 at 1:39pm. I'm wondering if I should stay with him or leave. We have two children and I really want to work this out and not feel so insecure. Thanks for any suggestions.
Third Wheel
Dear Third Wheel
Your comparison with your husband is adequate however you are moving into a period of time that could take the relationship either way. The unfortunate thing is that your husband has broken the code of ethics that two people usually have with one another and that is sticking together on issues that concern relatives and friends. If you and your girlfriend no longer see one another there must be a good reason for that and therefore he should stand behind your decision not to see her and do the same. You did not give me her birth data so it's difficult for me to be sure that nothing is going on between the two of them however according to his chart I do believe that he has been confused and questioning his life so he could be planning to make changes in his person life within the year. This is a difficult situation for you to be in and I feel that if you care about this man and your family that you suggest counseling or at least start talking about the options available if you want this marriage to work. You are both heading toward your second half-life Saturn, him this year and you next. This is usually a time when decisions and changes are made. As I mentioned the comparison is okay but as a couple you both need to work at this relationship much harder if you really want it to survive.
Eugenia
