We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I am a Virgo born on Sept.16, 1970. I been married to a cancer born on July 9,1970. We've been married 3 1/2 years. We were dating for 8 years. Our marriage was going great. But then, I had an affair with a co-worker. I told my husband the truth. He said that he would forgive me and would not leave me. The co-worker is a Virgo like me born on September 14, 1955. He was very good to me. I was feeling lonely and he was also. My husband is military. So, sometimes he is gone. The problem is that my husband says he wants us to work things out, but in the process he gets upset for remembering my affair and starts insulting me a lot. He has never hit me, but once he did because he wanted to know who the guy was. I told him not to hit me and he didn't. He doesn't hurt me physically, but emotionally he does. So, now I am confused. The other guy is married, but his wife filed for divorce. He wants me to also get a divorce and go with him. I just don't know what to do. I am confused! What do you think I should do?
Confused
Dear Confused
I'm not surprised that you are confused. My dear girl, what were you thinking. You have such a good comparison with your husband except for the fact that deception and sorrow due to secret affairs could very well ruin this connection. Your husband is a proud man and it will be difficult for him to forgive you completely. The fact that he has his natal Mercury in the sign Cancer indicates that he will never be able to forget what you have done to him and to your marriage. As for your lover, well you didn't really match up very well. Emotional deception and disillusionment are evident. You have to make some quick decisions in order to get your life back on course. If you think you can salvage your marriage by all means do so, get counseling or whatever it takes. If you decide that it's too late and you must move on do so but not by moving from one hot bed to another. You need to give yourself time to discover who you are and what you really want. I do not believe that you really want your secret lover. I feel that you were attracted to him due to a void you were feeling. Your husband might not have been spending enough time with you or perhaps neither one of you worked hard enough to make your marriage work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes plenty of patience, understanding and hard work on the part of both parties. Divorce does look like the direction you are heading. Whether you stay or leave you will be experiencing emotional difficulties due to the poor choices that you have made in the past.
Eugenia
Hi Eugenia
Here is my problem. My husband of 17 years (September 19,1959.) He has been visiting my ex-girlfriend, I tell him I don't like it, he's says he's doing nothing wrong that they are just friends and nothing more. This causes me pain and our marriage isn't that great these days. I was born Feb.15 1960 at 1:39pm. I'm wondering if I should stay with him or leave. We have two children and I really want to work this out and not feel so insecure. Thanks for any suggestions.
Third Wheel
Dear Third Wheel
Your comparison with your husband is adequate however you are moving into a period of time that could take the relationship either way. The unfortunate thing is that your husband has broken the code of ethics that two people usually have with one another and that is sticking together on issues that concern relatives and friends. If you and your girlfriend no longer see one another there must be a good reason for that and therefore he should stand behind your decision not to see her and do the same. You did not give me her birth data so it's difficult for me to be sure that nothing is going on between the two of them however according to his chart I do believe that he has been confused and questioning his life so he could be planning to make changes in his person life within the year. This is a difficult situation for you to be in and I feel that if you care about this man and your family that you suggest counseling or at least start talking about the options available if you want this marriage to work. You are both heading toward your second half-life Saturn, him this year and you next. This is usually a time when decisions and changes are made. As I mentioned the comparison is okay but as a couple you both need to work at this relationship much harder if you really want it to survive.
Eugenia
Hi Eugenia!
I know you are busy, but I was just wondering if you were going to be able to answer my e-mails concerning the future for my ex-boyfriend and me. I don't really want to get into the details again as it would take too long, but I have written to you at least twice before, maybe 3 times, explaining our situation and my dilemma and asking for your advice. As it stands now, we are not together and haven't been since last October. We haven't spoken since January 9th, at which time he was still not willing to even commit to me to the extent that he had before we split up in September of 2003. And at that time, his extent of commitment was less than I could accept, which is why I moved out. The last time we spoke, I told him for the millionth time not to call me until he was serious about trying to make things work between us because it hurts too much. Although as I said, I had told him this before to no avail, this time it must have sunk in because we haven't spoken since. I work in a convenience store, and I did see him drive thru the parking lot one day, and he has been in the store twice when I wasn't there. He also has called my house 3 or 4 times and hung up without leaving a message. And once he called while I wasn't home and left a message saying, "he just wanted to hear my voice". Please Eugenia, can you tell me what you see happening for us in the future? I still love him and am so in love with him. I miss him like crazy and a day doesn't go by that I don't think about him. Do you see us getting back together in the future? I feel like he's my soul mate, and he says the same about me. Do you think that maybe if we are apart for a while he may learn to appreciate me and the relationship we had together, or do you think it's pretty much a lost cause? Please help Eugenia, I feel so confused. I was born February 16, 1963 at 12:10 p.m. in Dayton, Ohio and Roger was born December 21, 1958 at 1:15 p.m. in San Bernardino, California.
Thanks,
Sandy
Hi Sandy
You do match up to your Sagittarius mate quite well and it's a shame that you aren't together however I believe that it is a commitment problem on his part. If you have followed my work you are aware of the number of times I have mentioned that Sagittarius is the one sign that has a terrible time with commitment. They are the born bachelors of the zodiac and no matter how much they love someone the thought of being confined by or committed to someone is quite horrifying. I do believe that this man loves you and that he isn't likely to find someone that he has as great a comparison with but yikes trying to get him to commit may take a lifetime. There is one hope however and that is that beginning this Summer the planet Saturn is moving into the sign Leo for approximately two and a half years and during that time he just might feel a little more comfortable with the whole settling down thing. For you the best thing to do is not to push commitment but to enjoy this man for who he is. After all that's who you fell in love with. I'm not saying that you should put up with poor behavior or not being treated well but as long as he is doing his part I don't think I would worry so much about signing a piece of paper or saying your vows. All too many times I have seen couples live together for a number of years and when the one finally convinces the other to do the legal trip down the aisle it often leads to a complete break down of the relationship within a year or two after finally getting married. Reevaluate what you really want out of this relationship - the man himself or his vow to never leave you. Please keep in mind that there are no guarantees even if you do tie the knot.
Eugenia
