We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I am a 49-year-old woman who has sworn off men for the past six years; mostly to avoid a weakness I had four bad relationships with big blue-eyed country boys. Four months ago one walked into my house for a volunteer project and I'm losing it because this one also happens to be SMART. Problem is, he's a whole bunch younger and apparently pretty naive about women and sex in general. The compatibility thermometer gave us a 99%, and I'm pretty sure he's attracted to me--he's here all the time and we can talk away the night. But now I want to move it up to the next level, and I don't know how or when, or whether it's a good idea to ruin an almost perfect friendship.I'm born 3/3/52, 2:45 am, and he's born 5/31/65, 2:30 a.m. any advice on timing, or whether this is a good idea?
Perplexed
Dear Perplexed
You do have an amazing comparison with your Gemini friend. I would however take it nice and slow and let him make the moves. I don't have a problem with the age difference however at some point it may cause a problem with friends, family as well as with one another. I am basing this on your charts, not on your chronological age difference. It will depend on his maturity however I do believe that he has a strong sense of who he is and what he wants out of life. The only other question that might arise will be regarding children. That could be with children that either one of you already have or the fact that he may want a child and you may not be able to reciprocate. As for now however I believe that you should let things unfold naturally and try not to get too caught up in long term for now.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
Dear Eugenia,
I have this wonderful friend in my life that I share so much with. We travel together, make art, shop, talk for hours, go on midnight adventures, love the same food, find each other hilarious, hug every time we say goodbye, and can't spend two days apart. I haven't had a man in my life, long term, for over three years. This guy seems to have found his way into my life, and my heart, but is it more than friendship? What are the possibilities for us? My birthday is Feb 12/76 (4:15pm), his is June 27/75 (4:15am). I was told that my moon is Cancer (his sun), and his moon is Aquarius (my sun). Is that right? What does that mean for us? We both seem to be in a state of flux right now. Will we still be close over the next year? Thank you for all your insights.
Hopeful Girl
Dear Hopeful Girl
The comparison does show a definite admiration between the two of you. I am a big believer that you have to be friends before you become lovers. That doesn't mean that you won't have chemistry. The stronger the chemistry is the more important it is to go slow and build the friendship first. In your particular case you do have your Moon in Cancer and he does have his Moon in Aquarius and this is a start. The problem I feel that you are facing is that even though he was born under the warm Cancer sign he has a few elements in his chart that tell me he is not going to want to settle down at a young age. If for some reason he does I fear it won't be lasting. He is not always honest with himself or with his partners and this can lead to problems. You are best to remain friends for now. He is going through changes this summer as well as throughout next year and it would be sad if you jumped into a hot intimate relationship only to lose the friendship that you both enjoy. He is going to have to be the one to make the move and if he should do so especially over the course of the next year I think that it will end in disappointment. As for you, you are in a high cycle where love is concerned until the end of January. Therefore, don't miss out on opportunities with other potential partners because you only have eyes for your friend. Get out and meet like-minded people. You match up to those born under the signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn and Pisces.
Eugenia
