We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I am a 49-year-old woman who has sworn off men for the past six years; mostly to avoid a weakness I had four bad relationships with big blue-eyed country boys. Four months ago one walked into my house for a volunteer project and I'm losing it because this one also happens to be SMART. Problem is, he's a whole bunch younger and apparently pretty naive about women and sex in general. The compatibility thermometer gave us a 99%, and I'm pretty sure he's attracted to me--he's here all the time and we can talk away the night. But now I want to move it up to the next level, and I don't know how or when, or whether it's a good idea to ruin an almost perfect friendship.I'm born 3/3/52, 2:45 am, and he's born 5/31/65, 2:30 a.m. any advice on timing, or whether this is a good idea?
Perplexed
Dear Perplexed
You do have an amazing comparison with your Gemini friend. I would however take it nice and slow and let him make the moves. I don't have a problem with the age difference however at some point it may cause a problem with friends, family as well as with one another. I am basing this on your charts, not on your chronological age difference. It will depend on his maturity however I do believe that he has a strong sense of who he is and what he wants out of life. The only other question that might arise will be regarding children. That could be with children that either one of you already have or the fact that he may want a child and you may not be able to reciprocate. As for now however I believe that you should let things unfold naturally and try not to get too caught up in long term for now.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
In January of 97 I became romantically involved with my teacher (his birth date:Aug.19,1950). He is married (his wife born Aug.10,1955). He had assured me that there was no romantic involvement with her and that he loved me, that the only reason he didn't leave her was because of his child, that theirs was a "business relationship." I believed him and loved him deeply, but recently found out that he still was having relations occasionally with her. He said that all along his feelings had been conflicting, that he didn't want to give her up, so when I said I wanted fidelity, he dumped me. His wife told me she plans to "punish" him. I am hurting terribly because I still love him very much. It is also going to hurt my studies, because he won't allow me in his classes any more. He had also gotten me a job at one of the places where he works. The day he ended the relationship (because I "pushed" him too far, he said), May 3rd (this year), I was angry and said I wanted to quit that job, so he cancelled my involvement in a joint project we were working on, which hurt my students as well as myself. I feel so hurt I cry all the time and wish I could die. I wish I had never said anything, and that our relationship had continued. Now I feel like my whole life is falling apart, because everything I did revolved around him. I have been to the counselor at school; she has been sympathetic but has no suggestions. He calls me sometimes, he says because he is sorry he hurt me, but he offers me no hope. He said he still doesn't know how he feels about anything, that I should do nothing and let time work things out. But I feel like I need to make some decisions about my life. Can you please help me? I don't even know what question to ask you, but perhaps you have some ideas. Thank you for reading my letter. It feels better just to know that you have "listened."
Sincerely,
Teachers Pet
Dear Teachers Pet
What were you thinking? Your comparison with your philandering professor wasn't all that great, for that matter his comparison with his wife wasn't earth shattering either. You are both dealing with a man who is full of himself and very capable of having secret affairs with women who are vulnerable or na?ve enough to believe his dribble. You unfortunately have been going through a very rough couple of years where love and relationships are concerned. Although your chart does denote that you could have someone from your past waltz back into your life, I certainly hope that you have enough will power to say no this time around. You should feel sorry for this man and even sorrier for his wife, whom I must say has also gone through similar transits to you regarding her relationship. I must mention that your chart and his wife's have an uncanny resemblance. I know that you are confused, hurting and you just want to be happy but strength and control will be necessary. I think that the more you back away from this man, the more he will want to come closer. It's hard to control what's in your heart especially when you are as sensitive and loving as you are. You were looking for that white knight who could stimulate you mentally and physically and we all know how hard that is to find. Please try to put this relationship in perspective and move on with your life. You will be in a high cycle for love and romance in June and I would hate to see you waste it on this man. You deserve better and I know that if you get out and join groups or organizations that you believe in you will meet like-minded people who can turn your crank. You match up well to those born under the signs Virgo, Capricorn and Pisces.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia:
My birth date is July 1, 1949 1:00 am, my husband is May 18, 1946.
I am going through a very emotional time in my life. My mother (to whom I was very close died in April) which caused a major family fallout which resulted in a lot of our family not talking to each other and breaking ties completely. Prior to and during this time I feel that my marriage has come to an end. We have been married for 33 years and have been drifting apart for some time. We have very little communication what so ever, and any that we have is mostly anger and aggression. I also feel that there has been someone else in my husband's life. I am confused as to why he doesn't just walk away from the marriage and yet if I had to confront him I have learned from past experiences that he would just lie anyway so I don't see the point, as he is very abusive verbally. My biggest problem in leaving the marriage is financial security, as I do not have the confidence that I could survive on my own. (My childhood was very poor and insecure and I am sure this has a lot to do with my current insecurities especially financial) I have gained a lot of weight with the stress of everything going on in my life which does not help my self esteem and my work is suffering as I cannot concentrate on things at work. I cannot see a future for myself on my own yet my health is suffering daily from staying in this relationship as I cannot understand why I have stayed in this emotional abusive situation for so long. Do you see a brighter future for me and some self-improvements that could help me have the confidence to walk away. And is there a possible suitable companion that could give me the loving caring relationship that I dream of is possible in this life. Can you please advise?
Desperate.
Dear Desperate.
Life is like a lit match. It burns rapidly and then it's gone. For all the time that people waste in situations that are unbearable I have little sympathy. You are the master of your own will and destiny and its time for you to get a grip and move on. You will be in a better position next year to start that diet, join a fitness group, start swimming and so forth. For now you have to take care of business and that means call up your real estate agent if you own your home and force the issue to put it on the market. Split your assets down the middle and start to make plans for the future. Life is simple; it's people who make it complex. You've been clinging to something that is doing nothing but bringing you down. Where you should have been excelling professionally this year you've been vacillating about your personal life. You will have a positive cycle professionally between October and February and you should do whatever you can to focus on your job, career and advancement. If you work hard you will do just fine. During the last half of next year and the first half of 2002 you will be in a high cycle romantically. If you are still with your husband you will miss that opportunity. Your game plan should be focus on work and selling assets in order to split what you have together. Next get into shape during the spring and summer of next year followed by new friends and lovers. You match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius.
Eugenia
