We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I feel so hopeless at this point in my relationship and was looking for some guidance. My husband and I have been married 20 years and together 22 years. Last year he just upped and left the house and said he wanted a divorce. We've had our ups and downs but basically a good relationship and especially a good friendship, or so I thought. After being gone for 9 months he decided he wanted to make a go of it and came back into my life.
Please understand that when he left I was so distraught and even considered suicide. I allowed him back in my life and we agreed we'd take it one day at a time. It's only been two months and he has just informed me that he cannot stand the guilt he's feeling and had to confess that he feels like he came back for all the wrong reasons. I have been to counseling and he has agreed to also go talk to someone. I just can't tell you how sick I feel right now. I can't believe he would give up after only two months knowing we have so much to work through. I love this man with all my heart and know in my heart we can get through this.
I was wondering if there is any way to help me in my sole search for the right path. We've been told several times that we were meant to be together, but I know that doesn't mean it will happen or even be easy.
His birthday is 4/24/58 and mine is 12/6/58. My birth hour is 4:08am but I don't know his. I don't know what to do and cannot emotionally handle another broken heart. Could things work out between us if we put forth the effort and will he put forth the effort needed to get us through this?
AKA Broken Hearted
Dear AKA Broken Hearted
You do have a decent comparison with your husband both mentally and emotionally however physically there do appear to be some problems. Your chart indicates that your relationship will be unstable until mid February however deception and disillusionment will continue to haunt you right through next year. The final outcome will be apparent October/November of next year. You do have to give this relationship a chance but unless both of you do so it isn't likely to work. Your husband's chart denotes that he is totally confused about his personal life and that isn't about to change any time soon. He is likely to experience a change of heart around May/June of next year. The one thing that I don't want you to do is to be a doormat. Opportunities for romance can be yours in May/June so if your husband isn't trying to rekindle his relationship with you at that time don't be afraid to get out and meet someone new. It will also be the time to clear up any legal matters or financial concerns. You have to start looking out for yourself. It would be nice if you could to sort through your differences but if you can't be prepared to do what's best for you. If you don't communicate with one another or you both see different therapists you may never figure out what the real problem is. You have to work together in order to come to a workable agreement.
Eugenia
Hi Eugenia
I am very involved in a long distance relationship. We talk every day, but, of course, see each other infrequently. We have 3 visits of 2 weeks each planned for this year.?We have started to think about relocating to be together. The question is...which one of us moves?? Also, when should the move be planned for?? We are both in the same business and would work together too, although his business is more established than mine, so it would be easier for me to work into his.? But my family is here, and I love where I live.? Only love could make me leave it.? One more wrinkle...he is recently separated, and I feel he needs some time on his own...to be single...before making a long term commitment. With that in mind, I do fear the thoughts of losing him. My question for you Eugenia is this:? does it make sense for me to think about planning for a future of living and working with this man? Or should I just enjoy what we have now, knowing that it is short term?
I really appreciate any insight you can give me in this situation.? Dealing with a long distance relationship can be wonderful....or dreadful.? I hate the thoughts of setting myself up for getting hurt.? Thank you so much for your help Eugenia....you are wonderful! Please do not include our birth data.
Leo
Hi Leo
I don?t have a concern with the age difference however there was one problem that the astrological comparison did reveal. His natal Sun is opposite your natal Neptune and this can cause some deception or difficulties in an area of his chart that deals with communication and travel or the distance that you have between you. In your chart it deals with a work area which could eventually create problems because you are in the same vocation or work for the same company. I do not however feel that this is something that should stop you from pursuing you intention to eventually make a move to be together. His chart indicates that he is more inclined to make a short distance move over the next year. In other words he buys a house and moves from where he is living now to a nearby neighborhood. In your case the move appears to be a distant move from one state or province to another over the upcoming year.
There are no guarantees when it comes to love and even though your comparison is good a relationship takes work. If you feel that you will miss your friends and family you may want to consider your option to move very slowly with this relationship. Where he resides it is certainly not the same climate physically or mentally and the adjustment will be difficult. I suggest that you spend as much time visiting him as possible to get a better feel for the area. He falls in an area of your chart that deals with relationships which is good and you fall in the offshoot of that area in his chart which also brings favorable results. My only concern is that you are very family oriented and it will be difficult for you to leave the people you love behind should you make the move. If he were to make the move to your local it would have to be in the fall of 2005. Before that time would probably be a mistake or lead to some problems. If you feel that you want to take that amount of time before you are together I would suggest that you do so.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
Where to start. First of all I guess that I should tell you that I met my husband and I have been with my husband for 20 years. Married for 17. Beautiful children. I have been very unhappy for a longtime. My husband is verbally, mentally, and worst of all physically abusive. I live everyday in fear, and am always trying to make everything happy and peaceful. I am always living planning the next step of the day out to make sure that it is going to make him happy. I am the bread winner in the family, I have to take care of all of the other responsibilities to, cooking, cleaning, bills, children, laundry, and even making his phone calls for his job etc for him. I should mention that he does work as well, but that is his only responsibility. I feel like an awful person for what I am about to tell you, but I have gotten to the point of being desperate for an answer. About 9 years ago, I met our now best friend. He has always been so nice to me. He is a very patient kind person. He is also in a relationship (not married, but do live together) and has wonderful children. His partner is a very angry person and yells constantly at her children it is so sad. I am very close with his children and love them very much. I have always had feelings for him, however never had said anything. We have always sat up and talked for hours on end when he has come over. About 2 1/2 years ago we were sitting and talking and it came out that we both had feelings for each other. I have never been so shocked, I never would have guessed. He told me at the time that he didn't know what to do, as he couldn't imagine waking up and not being in the same house as his children, that they were his life, and I think that is wonderful. We seem to go in spurts of calling each other, and then periods of not calling each other. However, neither one of us seem to be able to talk about our feelings. We have kissed, and it has been truly wonderful. But I do feel very guilty. I cannot stop thinking about him, I think of him when I wake up, through the day, when I go to bed. It's driving me crazy. I wonder if you can tell me what he is thinking. What he feels for me? My birthday is October 9, 1971, his is April 18, 1977, and my husband's is September 7, 1970. If you could please offer me any insight I would be truly grateful.
Libra
Dear Libra
First of all I want to deal with your relationship with your husband. You don't have one, nor do you need him in your life. You are only teaching your children that it is okay for a man to be abusive to a woman and that in it self is wrong and should have been enough for you to move on with your kids long ago.
It appears to me the only reason you are considering doing so now is because you have someone else in your life but that is not the way to start off a good relationship. I understand why you are attracted to your friend but the comparison although superior to the one with your husband it still isn't great. It is apparent that the connection with your friend is Karmic and I believe his debt is to help you remove yourself and your children from the miserable situation you have put up with for too long however after that it will be time for you to move on and start over.
You do not need your husband so cut your losses and get on with your life. You've already wasted too much time and the damage that the kids have endured watching you being abused are probably insurmountable at this point.
Your chart indicates that you probably should have made your move last year but it's still not too late if you take action immediately. As for your love life - it will pick up during the second half of this year once you have rid yourself of the dead weight you've been living with for so many years. What were you thinking when you married this man - it is seldom I see two people stay together as long as the two of you have when you
