We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle.  Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?

This service is no longer available.

I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.

For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.

I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.

The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:

Article: A Little Guidance

Dear Eugenia,

I feel so hopeless at this point in my relationship and was looking for some guidance. My husband and I have been married 20 years and together 22 years. Last year he just upped and left the house and said he wanted a divorce. We've had our ups and downs but basically a good relationship and especially a good friendship, or so I thought. After being gone for 9 months he decided he wanted to make a go of it and came back into my life.

Please understand that when he left I was so distraught and even considered suicide. I allowed him back in my life and we agreed we'd take it one day at a time. It's only been two months and he has just informed me that he cannot stand the guilt he's feeling and had to confess that he feels like he came back for all the wrong reasons. I have been to counseling and he has agreed to also go talk to someone. I just can't tell you how sick I feel right now. I can't believe he would give up after only two months knowing we have so much to work through. I love this man with all my heart and know in my heart we can get through this.

I was wondering if there is any way to help me in my sole search for the right path. We've been told several times that we were meant to be together, but I know that doesn't mean it will happen or even be easy.

His birthday is 4/24/58 and mine is 12/6/58. My birth hour is 4:08am but I don't know his. I don't know what to do and cannot emotionally handle another broken heart. Could things work out between us if we put forth the effort and will he put forth the effort needed to get us through this?

AKA Broken Hearted

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Dear AKA Broken Hearted

You do have a decent comparison with your husband both mentally and emotionally however physically there do appear to be some problems. Your chart indicates that your relationship will be unstable until mid February however deception and disillusionment will continue to haunt you right through next year. The final outcome will be apparent October/November of next year. You do have to give this relationship a chance but unless both of you do so it isn't likely to work. Your husband's chart denotes that he is totally confused about his personal life and that isn't about to change any time soon. He is likely to experience a change of heart around May/June of next year. The one thing that I don't want you to do is to be a doormat. Opportunities for romance can be yours in May/June so if your husband isn't trying to rekindle his relationship with you at that time don't be afraid to get out and meet someone new. It will also be the time to clear up any legal matters or financial concerns. You have to start looking out for yourself. It would be nice if you could to sort through your differences but if you can't be prepared to do what's best for you. If you don't communicate with one another or you both see different therapists you may never figure out what the real problem is. You have to work together in order to come to a workable agreement.

Eugenia

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Article: From Virgo

Dear Eugenia,

I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.

Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?

Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.

Virgo

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Dear Virgo

The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be

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Article: From Sandy

Hi Eugenia!

I know you are busy, but I was just wondering if you were going to be able to answer my e-mails concerning the future for my ex-boyfriend and me. I don't really want to get into the details again as it would take too long, but I have written to you at least twice before, maybe 3 times, explaining our situation and my dilemma and asking for your advice. As it stands now, we are not together and haven't been since last October. We haven't spoken since January 9th, at which time he was still not willing to even commit to me to the extent that he had before we split up in September of 2003. And at that time, his extent of commitment was less than I could accept, which is why I moved out. The last time we spoke, I told him for the millionth time not to call me until he was serious about trying to make things work between us because it hurts too much. Although as I said, I had told him this before to no avail, this time it must have sunk in because we haven't spoken since. I work in a convenience store, and I did see him drive thru the parking lot one day, and he has been in the store twice when I wasn't there. He also has called my house 3 or 4 times and hung up without leaving a message. And once he called while I wasn't home and left a message saying, "he just wanted to hear my voice". Please Eugenia, can you tell me what you see happening for us in the future? I still love him and am so in love with him. I miss him like crazy and a day doesn't go by that I don't think about him. Do you see us getting back together in the future? I feel like he's my soul mate, and he says the same about me. Do you think that maybe if we are apart for a while he may learn to appreciate me and the relationship we had together, or do you think it's pretty much a lost cause? Please help Eugenia, I feel so confused. I was born February 16, 1963 at 12:10 p.m. in Dayton, Ohio and Roger was born December 21, 1958 at 1:15 p.m. in San Bernardino, California.

Thanks,
Sandy

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Hi Sandy

You do match up to your Sagittarius mate quite well and it's a shame that you aren't together however I believe that it is a commitment problem on his part. If you have followed my work you are aware of the number of times I have mentioned that Sagittarius is the one sign that has a terrible time with commitment. They are the born bachelors of the zodiac and no matter how much they love someone the thought of being confined by or committed to someone is quite horrifying. I do believe that this man loves you and that he isn't likely to find someone that he has as great a comparison with but yikes trying to get him to commit may take a lifetime. There is one hope however and that is that beginning this Summer the planet Saturn is moving into the sign Leo for approximately two and a half years and during that time he just might feel a little more comfortable with the whole settling down thing. For you the best thing to do is not to push commitment but to enjoy this man for who he is. After all that's who you fell in love with. I'm not saying that you should put up with poor behavior or not being treated well but as long as he is doing his part I don't think I would worry so much about signing a piece of paper or saying your vows. All too many times I have seen couples live together for a number of years and when the one finally convinces the other to do the legal trip down the aisle it often leads to a complete break down of the relationship within a year or two after finally getting married. Reevaluate what you really want out of this relationship - the man himself or his vow to never leave you. Please keep in mind that there are no guarantees even if you do tie the knot.

Eugenia

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