We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I have a problem. I am sixteen years old, and I feel like I am forty. My mother is very sick, and I must take care of her, as well as attend school and achieve honor role. I work part time, but the income just isn't always enough to make ends meet. Lately my marks at school have been slipping... the stress is really getting to me, but I need good marks in order to get a scholarship, so I can get a decent education.
My problem is that my mother is mentally ill. She has the mental capacity of a three year old. I do have older brothers and sisters, but the responsibility of taking care of my mum has been put on my shoulders.
I really need some advice on my situation. A reply would be much appreciated. I was born August 18, 1982 at 7:27 PM.
Thank you,
Moly
Hi Moly
Your situation is not great and you have all the right in the world to feel sorry for yourself. You must put added pressure on your siblings in order to make them help out. It is their duty to do so. I suggest that you do consider talking to your mother's doctor regarding your options of a nursing home. I fear that if you don't get some support from family members that you may find yourself working full time and putting your education on hold and that would be a shame. Please write back and tell me more about your situation. Where is your father and do any of your siblings still live at home. What are their situations regarding age, marriage, position to help.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
Thank you for answering my letter. You asked for more information about my family: my father passed away, when I was a little girl... too little to remember him, and after him, my mother never married again. I have eight older brothers and sisters, and though none of them live at home, they all live in the same city. They have their own problems - I am not blaming them for not helping me out... I just wish that they were a little more compassionate about my situation.
As for school, I haven't told any of my teachers about my present situation... although I am thinking that it might help quite a bit. Maybe there are some programs or something outside of school, so I can get a full time job, to support my family.
Well, I really don't know what to say... I am really starting to feel the stress, and none of my brothers or sisters are willing to help me out. I have tried to reason with them... but they have their own lives, and their own problems. I think part of it has to do with the fact, that none of them get along with my mother, they just don't have the patience. Only two of my siblings are married, the rest are either full time workers, or full time students.
Regarding the nursing home issue, I just don't feel right about it, no matter which way I look at it. I love my mum way too much to let anything happen to her. I suppose it would probably be better in the long run, but I am really hesitant about that. I am making it sound as though I have no support. In truth, a very special friend at school has been helping me out. We are in a Social Justice group together (that's how we met), and he's the only other person that knows about my situation. He sometimes comes over to take care of my mum when I am working, and he always has a shoulder to cry on. I just feel kind of bad, because he is such a good friend to me, and I have nothing to offer him except problems.
Thank you once again,
Moly
Hi Moly
You are offering your friend lots just by being a friend. You should talk to your teachers they may be able to help you out or at least have suggestions as to how you can continue to study and deal with your home situation. You can't give up your education to take care of your mom. She wouldn't want you to. There would still be the issue of how you would take c
Dear Eugenia,
My name is Wanda and this is my situation. I am married with two kids. I have been married for one year and eight months. After four months of being married my husband was with another girl. I know this because I came home and I found hickeys on his neck and I went in my bedroom and found a condom on the floor. That's when we started not getting along and I turned to my friends for help and support. I was talking to my husband's friend and we started to get closer and it turned out that we started to see each other every weekend and we started fooling around with each other and now we are seeing each other every now and then. My husband knows because he found us together. I am really in love with my husband's friend and I want to stay with him. But my husband won't let me leave him; he won't let me go. My husband is thirty years old, eight years older than I. We met in 1991 and have been together until this time. I really want to let go of him. I am not in love with him anymore. All I feel for him is friendship. I want to finish school as well and if I stay with him I would not have that opportunity. He is to jealous. We have three kids together 2girls & 1 boy. My daughter seven, son Tyler is six, my youngest is four. I gave up my first daughter at two weeks old because I was only thirteen years of age. Now that I am twenty-two and I want more out of life. I made a mistake getting married at a young age. We got married on August 15 of 98. Could you give me advice about my life. I was born February 5, 1978, at 2:30 PM.
Mixed Up
Dear Mixed Up
Wanda, get a grip. You're twenty-two, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. Get your act together and get out of the situation you're in. You are with a man who obviously doesn't respect you or the marriage vows you took. Although you didn't submit his birth data or that of his friends I'd venture to say by your chart that you have been manipulated for some time with regard to relationships. Take your two children and get out of there before your boys think that it's okay to treat a woman the way you're being treated. Secondly, two wrongs don't make a right. Fooling around with one of your husband's friends is not the answer. You need to get back to basics and sort out your feelings and your life before you get involved with someone else. You are best to seek help first. You should be doing whatever you can to remove the children and yourself from your current situation. There are homes that will take you in with your children if you are abused and if your husband is jealous, refusing to let you leave, and running around on you, that should be enough for you to get help. If you have family to turn to, do so. However, if your parents let you hang out with this man when you were thirteen and he was twenty-one I have a feeling that they won't be much help now. By your chart I can tell you that your home environment is moving into better times but it will take your initiative to turn things around for yourself so get moving. You are in a high cycle where learning is concerned and you should be taking advantage of this. You can apply for social assistance to help you and your kids. You should also look into courses that the government offers to those who want to make life better for them self. You live in a country that gives so much to those-in-need that there is no excuse for anyone to put up with the lifestyle that you are living right now. Get moving girl, and don't look back. You owe that much to your children and to yourself.
Eugenia
Hi Eugenia
I am currently going through a divorce and I feel that the financial burden being imposed on me is unfair. Also, I fear that my wife will leave the state with my children making it even more difficult for me to see them. My question is two fold. Will I be able to financially afford what she is asking for and still have a place of my own to take the kids? And, do you believe she will move the kids out of state?
Gemini
HI Gemini
You didn't submit your wife or children's birth information making it difficult for me to know what she will do. What I can tell you is that your financial limitations are still present between now and the summer of next year however after that time it is evident that you should be able to swing whatever settlement or agreement you make with her. I believe there is a law that does not allow one parent to take the children more than X amount of miles away from the other parent if you have joint custody however this may change from state to state. Your chart indicates that you should be focusing on your professional goals and that if you are diligent about getting ahead you can be successful over the next four years. I do believe that your wife will try to restrict your visitation rights between now and the end of the summer of next year. You must fight this and do whatever is necessary to be as much a part of your children's lives as you can. If you live close to one another it isn't uncommon these days to have the children with you half the time and with her the other half. In that case you should not have to pay support because you are both equally raising your children. There are many routes to take however if she has left you because of infidelity or other damaging or cruel reasons you will end up paying dearly so get working towards professional advancement now so that you can cover the costs. Don't let the uncertainty or depression regarding your failing marriage deter you from getting involved with new partners or develop new friendships. It is important for you to get on with your life.
Eugenia
