We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I have a problem. I am sixteen years old, and I feel like I am forty. My mother is very sick, and I must take care of her, as well as attend school and achieve honor role. I work part time, but the income just isn't always enough to make ends meet. Lately my marks at school have been slipping... the stress is really getting to me, but I need good marks in order to get a scholarship, so I can get a decent education.
My problem is that my mother is mentally ill. She has the mental capacity of a three year old. I do have older brothers and sisters, but the responsibility of taking care of my mum has been put on my shoulders.
I really need some advice on my situation. A reply would be much appreciated. I was born August 18, 1982 at 7:27 PM.
Thank you,
Moly
Hi Moly
Your situation is not great and you have all the right in the world to feel sorry for yourself. You must put added pressure on your siblings in order to make them help out. It is their duty to do so. I suggest that you do consider talking to your mother's doctor regarding your options of a nursing home. I fear that if you don't get some support from family members that you may find yourself working full time and putting your education on hold and that would be a shame. Please write back and tell me more about your situation. Where is your father and do any of your siblings still live at home. What are their situations regarding age, marriage, position to help.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
Thank you for answering my letter. You asked for more information about my family: my father passed away, when I was a little girl... too little to remember him, and after him, my mother never married again. I have eight older brothers and sisters, and though none of them live at home, they all live in the same city. They have their own problems - I am not blaming them for not helping me out... I just wish that they were a little more compassionate about my situation.
As for school, I haven't told any of my teachers about my present situation... although I am thinking that it might help quite a bit. Maybe there are some programs or something outside of school, so I can get a full time job, to support my family.
Well, I really don't know what to say... I am really starting to feel the stress, and none of my brothers or sisters are willing to help me out. I have tried to reason with them... but they have their own lives, and their own problems. I think part of it has to do with the fact, that none of them get along with my mother, they just don't have the patience. Only two of my siblings are married, the rest are either full time workers, or full time students.
Regarding the nursing home issue, I just don't feel right about it, no matter which way I look at it. I love my mum way too much to let anything happen to her. I suppose it would probably be better in the long run, but I am really hesitant about that. I am making it sound as though I have no support. In truth, a very special friend at school has been helping me out. We are in a Social Justice group together (that's how we met), and he's the only other person that knows about my situation. He sometimes comes over to take care of my mum when I am working, and he always has a shoulder to cry on. I just feel kind of bad, because he is such a good friend to me, and I have nothing to offer him except problems.
Thank you once again,
Moly
Hi Moly
You are offering your friend lots just by being a friend. You should talk to your teachers they may be able to help you out or at least have suggestions as to how you can continue to study and deal with your home situation. You can't give up your education to take care of your mom. She wouldn't want you to. There would still be the issue of how you would take c
Dear Eugenia
Where to start. First of all I guess that I should tell you that I met my husband and I have been with my husband for 20 years. Married for 17. Beautiful children. I have been very unhappy for a longtime. My husband is verbally, mentally, and worst of all physically abusive. I live everyday in fear, and am always trying to make everything happy and peaceful. I am always living planning the next step of the day out to make sure that it is going to make him happy. I am the bread winner in the family, I have to take care of all of the other responsibilities to, cooking, cleaning, bills, children, laundry, and even making his phone calls for his job etc for him. I should mention that he does work as well, but that is his only responsibility. I feel like an awful person for what I am about to tell you, but I have gotten to the point of being desperate for an answer. About 9 years ago, I met our now best friend. He has always been so nice to me. He is a very patient kind person. He is also in a relationship (not married, but do live together) and has wonderful children. His partner is a very angry person and yells constantly at her children it is so sad. I am very close with his children and love them very much. I have always had feelings for him, however never had said anything. We have always sat up and talked for hours on end when he has come over. About 2 1/2 years ago we were sitting and talking and it came out that we both had feelings for each other. I have never been so shocked, I never would have guessed. He told me at the time that he didn't know what to do, as he couldn't imagine waking up and not being in the same house as his children, that they were his life, and I think that is wonderful. We seem to go in spurts of calling each other, and then periods of not calling each other. However, neither one of us seem to be able to talk about our feelings. We have kissed, and it has been truly wonderful. But I do feel very guilty. I cannot stop thinking about him, I think of him when I wake up, through the day, when I go to bed. It's driving me crazy. I wonder if you can tell me what he is thinking. What he feels for me? My birthday is October 9, 1971, his is April 18, 1977, and my husband's is September 7, 1970. If you could please offer me any insight I would be truly grateful.
Libra
Dear Libra
First of all I want to deal with your relationship with your husband. You don't have one, nor do you need him in your life. You are only teaching your children that it is okay for a man to be abusive to a woman and that in it self is wrong and should have been enough for you to move on with your kids long ago.
It appears to me the only reason you are considering doing so now is because you have someone else in your life but that is not the way to start off a good relationship. I understand why you are attracted to your friend but the comparison although superior to the one with your husband it still isn't great. It is apparent that the connection with your friend is Karmic and I believe his debt is to help you remove yourself and your children from the miserable situation you have put up with for too long however after that it will be time for you to move on and start over.
You do not need your husband so cut your losses and get on with your life. You've already wasted too much time and the damage that the kids have endured watching you being abused are probably insurmountable at this point.
Your chart indicates that you probably should have made your move last year but it's still not too late if you take action immediately. As for your love life - it will pick up during the second half of this year once you have rid yourself of the dead weight you've been living with for so many years. What were you thinking when you married this man - it is seldom I see two people stay together as long as the two of you have when you
Dear Eugenia
On 19th April 2000 my husband committed suicide. He was undergoing severe depression because of his unemployment and his lack of means of supporting me and our 5 year old boy. We used to live with my family. My family wanted me to divorce him but I had decided to live separate with him so I could give my marriage a chance. The apartment was almost ready, and we were supposed to shift shortly. I had even spoken to my brother and had a job arranged for him. Yet two days before shifting, when I had gone to the apartment to set up things, I found my husband dead in the same apartment. What I need to know now is, why did he have to do such a thing when he knew that I am coming to live with him. His job was also fixed...This one question is really eating me up. I need to know the answer if I have to get on with my life. I was born September 5, 1968 at 9 AM and he was born March 20, 1962, at 9 AM.
Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken
Your husband?s chart indicated that he had been under great duress for the past several years. He was disappointed in himself and what he had become. This coupled with his uncertainty regarding his relationship with you due to his own paranoia pushed him over the line. I don?t believe that there was anything that you could have done to prevent his action. He felt that you and your son would be better off without him. In his mind he was trying to make your life easier for you. Your husband was going through extreme mood swings that were impossible for him to control. He was a deeply sensitive man that had trouble accepting what he considered to be failure. The last thing he would have wanted to do was hurt or you down. He was not thinkingclearly and with having a tendency to take drastic measures when he didn?t know how to handle a situation unfortunately the end result was fatal. You on the other hand have a strong chart. This is something that probably attracted him to you in the first place. You are coming into a much higher cycle and it is time to put the past behind you. You owe it to yourself and to your son to move forward in a positive manner. Your chart indicates that you will meet interesting people that will influence you in many ways over the course of this year. You need to get out and do things that are worthwhile. By doing so you will find it much easier to move on. New relationships are likely to develop this year however I suggest that you take your time and build a solid friendship first. You match up well to those born under the signs Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio and Capricorn. You did not submit your son?s birth data, however I can tell from your chart that he is confused and suffering right now and that he needs you to spend additional time with him. Try to join groups or clubs that include him as well. If you stick together you will both overcome the nightmare that you have been forced to endure.
Eugenia
