We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I have a problem. I am sixteen years old, and I feel like I am forty. My mother is very sick, and I must take care of her, as well as attend school and achieve honor role. I work part time, but the income just isn't always enough to make ends meet. Lately my marks at school have been slipping... the stress is really getting to me, but I need good marks in order to get a scholarship, so I can get a decent education.
My problem is that my mother is mentally ill. She has the mental capacity of a three year old. I do have older brothers and sisters, but the responsibility of taking care of my mum has been put on my shoulders.
I really need some advice on my situation. A reply would be much appreciated. I was born August 18, 1982 at 7:27 PM.
Thank you,
Moly
Hi Moly
Your situation is not great and you have all the right in the world to feel sorry for yourself. You must put added pressure on your siblings in order to make them help out. It is their duty to do so. I suggest that you do consider talking to your mother's doctor regarding your options of a nursing home. I fear that if you don't get some support from family members that you may find yourself working full time and putting your education on hold and that would be a shame. Please write back and tell me more about your situation. Where is your father and do any of your siblings still live at home. What are their situations regarding age, marriage, position to help.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
Thank you for answering my letter. You asked for more information about my family: my father passed away, when I was a little girl... too little to remember him, and after him, my mother never married again. I have eight older brothers and sisters, and though none of them live at home, they all live in the same city. They have their own problems - I am not blaming them for not helping me out... I just wish that they were a little more compassionate about my situation.
As for school, I haven't told any of my teachers about my present situation... although I am thinking that it might help quite a bit. Maybe there are some programs or something outside of school, so I can get a full time job, to support my family.
Well, I really don't know what to say... I am really starting to feel the stress, and none of my brothers or sisters are willing to help me out. I have tried to reason with them... but they have their own lives, and their own problems. I think part of it has to do with the fact, that none of them get along with my mother, they just don't have the patience. Only two of my siblings are married, the rest are either full time workers, or full time students.
Regarding the nursing home issue, I just don't feel right about it, no matter which way I look at it. I love my mum way too much to let anything happen to her. I suppose it would probably be better in the long run, but I am really hesitant about that. I am making it sound as though I have no support. In truth, a very special friend at school has been helping me out. We are in a Social Justice group together (that's how we met), and he's the only other person that knows about my situation. He sometimes comes over to take care of my mum when I am working, and he always has a shoulder to cry on. I just feel kind of bad, because he is such a good friend to me, and I have nothing to offer him except problems.
Thank you once again,
Moly
Hi Moly
You are offering your friend lots just by being a friend. You should talk to your teachers they may be able to help you out or at least have suggestions as to how you can continue to study and deal with your home situation. You can't give up your education to take care of your mom. She wouldn't want you to. There would still be the issue of how you would take c
Hi Eugenia
My husband has a drinking problem. He has been able to control this problem for the past 5-6 years. Recently he has begun drinking again and there is starting to be the same kind of mental abuse as he displayed in the past. I am at the age where I do not feel I can repeat and repeat this sort of abuse and lifestyle. Money is also becoming an issue as he continues to drink. He continues to threaten to leave and I am at the point where if not for my financial position, I would put the entire relationship behind me and move on alone. Is this a good idea?.......Please help, he is born July 10, 1951 at 6:30 a.m. and I April 25, 1944, at 10 a.m.
Stay or Leave
Dear Stay or Leave
I believe that your husband will become worse before he becomes better. The next year and a half will be filled with all sorts of limitations for him regarding health, authority figures, dealing with institutions and so forth. I feel that the past couple of years you have taken the brunt of his obvious lack of control and abuse and now is the time to give him an ultimatum. Should he leave he will go down hill over the course of the next couple of years. Should he seek help it will take him the next couple of years to reform. As for you I feel that the time for change is fast approaching. That you should be seeking help from women's groups and co-dependent organizations in order to get back on your feet and away from him. Your comparison did indicate that there has been love in the past with this man but that was probably a long time ago. There is also sorrow especially where substance abuse is concerned and because of this I feel that even if he does seek help that there will always be the potential for him to slip over and over again. I do not believe that you will ever be able to fully put his abuse behind you and that your reason for staying with this man has more to do with fear of being alone and lack of funds. Your chart indicates that you are youthful and entertaining and that you will be okay if you can only get yourself out of this situation. By all means - if he wants to leave let him go.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I have two babies, a 36-month-old boy and a 20-month old girl. Their father has been an addiction of mine for four years. Just when I think I have finally made it to a place in my life where I can let go of him; I am pregnant again. I am torn between continuing in this one-sided relationship for the sake of our children, who adore him, while having another baby; or not; and disconnecting from him completely. I was born 7/6/65 at 5:30 EST and he was born 1/20/63 at 8:30p.m. PST. I fear that if I don?t walk away soon, I never will; but I feel like it is better the devil you know, then the devil you don?t know. I would really appreciate some guidance. I am afraid I won?t make the best decision for my two babies. He isn?t very kind to me; he is very abusive, distrustful and threatening. It has taken a long time and a lot of distance to break down, a little, his control of my emotions and feelings of self worth. I really need some ones insight into his character strengths and weaknesses and what is in store for our future.
Please respond
Dear Please respond
I can see your dilemma. I call this set up meeting your messiah. In other words you are so connected to this man you can?t help yourself and yet he is not good for you. The comparison was quite something, filled with love, hate, passion, deception, sorrow and so on. It is apparent that when he is feeling guilty, because he has done something that he probably shouldn?t, like cheats on you, he becomes abusive to cover it up. It is important that you don?t raise your children in this setting or they will grow up thinking that this is the way people should treat one another. I do not believe that your love is one-sided but I do believe that this man is not good for you. You are coming into a period that will be even more difficult where relationships are concerned. You can use this period to take further abuse from him or you can use this period to get out on your own with your children and start a new life. Neither will be easy but the later will certainly lead to a better future for you and your children. Opportunities for you to meet someone else are apparent and I believe you should do just that. It will help you forget about your abusive partner. Your chart also indicates that you are not likely to be with just one partner throughout your life. There is also evidence in your chart that you do attract men who will try to control and confine you. I suggest that you have an astrological evaluation done prior to giving your heart to the next man you want to become intimate with. Build on friendship first and you?ll stand a better chance of developing a long lasting union. You are coming into a high cycle where work and money are concerned. I feel confident that if you put your energy into your work, your children, your new home and meeting new friends and lovers you will find that your life will unfold quite nicely as we go into the year 2001. It sometimes helps to make a list of all the reasons that you feel that you should not be with your ex. Like the things he brings out in you that you don?t like and the things he does that you can?t live with. Every time he tries to contact you or you want to contact him pull out your list and read it just to remind yourself why you left him.
Eugenia
